A mother's words

Many of you following this blog know my past, others, however, may not.  In light of that, I will tell you the short version.  When I was 16 my mum died of ovarian cancer.  She was and always will be one of the biggest supporters of my pursuit to serve in youth ministry.  Had she been alive when I was deciding to move overseas to do missionary work, there is not a doubt in my mind that she would be behind me 100% just like my dad and the rest of my family, though they would love to have me closer in proximity to them all.  She died on Tuesday, 30 March, 2004 right before Spring Break of my Sophomore year of high school.  The 30th of any month is quite difficult, and you would think that since February never has a 30th day it would be that one month of relief.  However, my mum was born on 23 February so that takes the place of a difficult 30th for the month of February.  It might sound strange to someone who has never lost someone near and dear to them, but my mother was very much my Paul, if you will, guiding me in the way a godly woman (young or old) would conduct herself by serving, leading, listening, and demonstrating the characteristics of Christ.  So losing her has very much effected me and dates become very vivid and meaningful, mournful at times.  While being in Northern Ireland I have been having a difficult time with the task assigned me: to expand the ministry to young women in Newcastle.  This does not only mean discipling those young women within the churches, but to develop outreach to young women in the area as well who do not attend churches.  Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a girly girl by any means so to interact with and develop relationships with the young women in a European culture is quite difficult for such a tomboy.  Though the task difficult, I continue to pursue, not really having a clue how to go about everything, but aspiring to do my best despite the mistakes I have and will make during ministry here. 

Ok, now on to what I put this post up for in the first place.  While here I have started to read some classics and am reading Little Women.  While reading it the mother had a little monologue that I feel would be just what my mother would say if I were to discuss life decisions and circumstances with her in this very moment in time:

     I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good; to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send.  To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and i sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience.  It is natrual to think of it . . . right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it, so that when the happy tme comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy.  My dear girls, I am ambitious for you, but not to have you make a dash in the world--marry rich men merely because they are rich, or have splendid houses, which are not homes because love is wanting.  Money is a needful and precious thing--and, when well used, a noble thing--but I never want you to think it is the first or only prize to strive for. I'd rather see you poor men's wives, if you were happy, beloved, contented, than queens on thrones, without self-respect and peace.

 This, I will hold on to in the times when I doubt what I'm doing, where I'm going, and where my life is headed because many times it is scary, especially as a young woman in an area of ministry dominated by men.  Though I have to say our God is a God who provides, and has continued to place women in my path (many being my friends' mums and my mums girlfriends) from the time my mum went to be with the Lord until this very day (as Mrs. Hodnett passes along a book to me that she believes I will enjoy).

Please pray that ministry to young women in Newcastle will develop in such a way that the city, country, and world may be changed for the better because Christ is moving among us, shaping who we are becoming, effecting how we view those around us, developing a passion for compassion for a world crying out for a Saviour, whether realised or not.