Road trips really are a staple for deep conversations, convictions, and connection with God for me. I think it's when I'm the most focused, yet least distracted, and therefore my heart's guard is down to where God can penetrate to the core of my heart, soul, and being in a way He couldn't otherwise because of my stubbornness.
While driving, a song came on the radio that spoke of God seeing the beauty in the broken; in our brokenness. It was then that I was hit with this overwhelming wave of Truth. At first I couldn't see it, but as the chorus repeated and repeated and repeated, my thoughts of others and their brokenness faded like a fog evaporating on a back country road and all that was left was the reality of my brokenness. And even more so, God washing over me the Truth that God sees my beauty despite all of it!
Anyone that knows me knows this phrase: "You are your own worst critic." I say it as an encouragement to others not to be so hard on themselves, but I speak from experience. Some may say I'm too hard on myself, but the truth is, they don't hear the thoughts that rattle through my mind, my true (self-gratifying) intentions with many of my actions, and the ugliness that (though I hate to admit it) can really take over in my heart at times. But ". . . God judges the secrets of men . . ." (Romans 2:16b) and ". . . circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit . . ." (Romans 3:29b)...and the Truth is, God actually sees my beauty, at my very core, not the surface beauty (that morphs with age--both for better and worse! lol), and not the fake, made-up beauty (with the masks of surgeries, make-up, and cover-up...it has that name for a reason!)...He sees my beauty because inside me He sees Himself. ". . . God created man in his own imagine, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them," (Genesis 1:27). He sees beauty because He created me, and you, in His image. Our beauty comes from Him and it's not of our outward appearance, but in our very essence and core. The saying, "Beauty is only skin deep" doesn't really cut it, because true beauty, goes back to our roots...and when you follow your roots...they lead you back to Genesis 1:27.
For me, this brought a wave of emotion because, it's easy to see the beautiful souls of others (even in "misfits" and "fringe kids" as my friend Rachel says my heart is drawn to), but it is extremely difficult for me to see that in myself. But if I truly want to see people through the eyes of Christ...His vision includes me. That was empowering, enlightening, and overwhelming. I am broken. Oh, how true that is! But as Paul says, God's not finished with us yet and He who began a good work in us will bring it through to completion.
I want to challenge you to not only see the Beauty in the Broken of others in your sphere of influence, but yourself as well...We are broken, but beautiful, because God has made us in His image and He is Beautiful.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Headlights on the Highway
I recently was on a road trip from Cincinnati back to the Chicagoland area. While on road trips, I have plenty of time to think, contemplate, and talk with God. As I neared Northwest Indiana, weather became more in line with the holiday season (which I loved!). At about this time I realized that conditions on the road were getting a little hazardous; nothing tragic, but noticeable. For this reason I turned on my headlights. Shortly after, the person driving in front of me followed suit. This then began a sort of domino affect along the road.
This instance reminded me much of the world we live in today. As Christ followers, the Church body is meant to be the light in the darkness. We are to bring hope (and light) into the this world, this life, that isn't easy, and sometimes hard to see what is up ahead. However, when we emulate Christ, not only do we bring light into dark situations and where it can be dangerous, but we give our brothers and sisters in Christ encouragement and confidence to shine on as well. And we all know, darkness is merely the absence of light...and the more we illuminate the darkness, the more easily Christ will be made known to those along this road called life.
So, dear brothers and sisters...SHINE ON!
This instance reminded me much of the world we live in today. As Christ followers, the Church body is meant to be the light in the darkness. We are to bring hope (and light) into the this world, this life, that isn't easy, and sometimes hard to see what is up ahead. However, when we emulate Christ, not only do we bring light into dark situations and where it can be dangerous, but we give our brothers and sisters in Christ encouragement and confidence to shine on as well. And we all know, darkness is merely the absence of light...and the more we illuminate the darkness, the more easily Christ will be made known to those along this road called life.
So, dear brothers and sisters...SHINE ON!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Blessed With a Divine Burden
As I mentioned in the previous post, I have been reading Craig Groeschel's book Weird: Because normal isn't working. If you're curious as to it's content, it's a challenging book. It challenges us as Christ followers to actually live out what we claim to be: different because of the reality of eternity, not of this world, and living in light of eternity.
The last two areas explored really hit home for me: A Divine Blessing and Just One Thing. These two, for me, go hand in hand.
For me, it's the young people in Northern Ireland, specifically the young women. Before it seemed like a completely random area for my heart to be burdened. I never was that close with many girls growing up (the few that I was close with I am still close with today and can count on one hand). I grew up in a Christian home with Christian values. I knew what it was like to grow up never needing, but always wanting (c'mon, I was a selfish kid, like most of us were!) and taught to work for my needs and some of my wants every now and again (if I'm half as great a parent as mine were, and still are, to me, my children will truly be blessed!). It wasn't until I realized that, at the age of 16, I came from a single parent household. Because my mom had instilled in me so much already throughout my 16 years with her in my life, I never really thought of myself as living in a single parent home. I had many years in a two parent home so it was weird to view myself otherwise. The majority of the young people (specifically young women) I rub shoulders with live in single parent homes. They and I both know what it's like to live without that guidance and protection, example and love. My heart is burdened because I have felt the pain that comes from loss of or abandonment from a parent. The more I get to know each of them as an individual, the more their pain has become my pain, my divine burden. A burden to make a difference.
Just one thing. This might sound crazy, but that intimidates me. For as long as I can remember, I have been multi-tasking, juggling, running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Why? Because I am indecisive! Why am I indecisive? Because I hate to make decisions, I hate to wonder "what if", and I hate to think that I chose wrong...therefore I choose everything and end up a lot of times with nothing left of myself because I have poured myself out in hopes of something in return only to find jobs halfheartedly done and mediocre results. This mindset, however, is detrimental in ministry. Let me explain it with a bit of my past....
Growing up I joined in on many sports and activities. Many times coaches would tell me I was good, I competed well, and I won here and there. Looking back, even though I chose all of them, I still wonder "what if". "What if I had solely focused on gymnastics?...diving?...cross country?...pole vaulting?...cheerleading?" Instead of mediocre success in multiple areas, had I focused on just one thing I could have made more of an impact. In ministry, I'm starting to realize that all areas of ministry are good and vital for the Church, but that doesn't mean I need to participate in all of them, give my time to all of them, but rather focus on the area for which God has given me a divine burden.
Are you stretched so thin people look through/past you? Or wherever you are, are you all there, making the significant impact you were designed to do?
Your challenge: Just One Thing.
The last two areas explored really hit home for me: A Divine Blessing and Just One Thing. These two, for me, go hand in hand.
No one is useless in the world who lightens the burden of it for anyone else. - Charles Dickens.To think of a burden as a blessing is, well, weird. But in light of who God is and the creativity He encompasses, it's no wonder those who seek to follow Him seem a little off kilter by the world's standards. Because they live for standards that are out of this world! Have you ever found yourself completely overcome with emotion when you see a homeless woman on the corner? Has your heart broken at the news of starving children in third world countries? Or has your stomach turned at the thought of young girls (maybe the age of your daughter) being sold in the epidemic of human trafficking? What injustice crushes you and, if you let it, will keep you awake all night?
For me, it's the young people in Northern Ireland, specifically the young women. Before it seemed like a completely random area for my heart to be burdened. I never was that close with many girls growing up (the few that I was close with I am still close with today and can count on one hand). I grew up in a Christian home with Christian values. I knew what it was like to grow up never needing, but always wanting (c'mon, I was a selfish kid, like most of us were!) and taught to work for my needs and some of my wants every now and again (if I'm half as great a parent as mine were, and still are, to me, my children will truly be blessed!). It wasn't until I realized that, at the age of 16, I came from a single parent household. Because my mom had instilled in me so much already throughout my 16 years with her in my life, I never really thought of myself as living in a single parent home. I had many years in a two parent home so it was weird to view myself otherwise. The majority of the young people (specifically young women) I rub shoulders with live in single parent homes. They and I both know what it's like to live without that guidance and protection, example and love. My heart is burdened because I have felt the pain that comes from loss of or abandonment from a parent. The more I get to know each of them as an individual, the more their pain has become my pain, my divine burden. A burden to make a difference.
Often he who does too much does too little. - Italian ProverbJust one thing. This concept in the book is speaking directly to the personal development of the person. For so many of us, we set goals (New Year's Resolutions for some) and the reality is it's not that we set the bar too high, but we set too many bars at once. If I were to focus on one aspect of my life and that aspect solely...I would come much farther than if I set out ten aspects to focus on. But if I took that ten and focused on one a year, the person I am a decade from now I would indistinguishable from the person typing this tonight (in a totally great way!).
Just one thing. This might sound crazy, but that intimidates me. For as long as I can remember, I have been multi-tasking, juggling, running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Why? Because I am indecisive! Why am I indecisive? Because I hate to make decisions, I hate to wonder "what if", and I hate to think that I chose wrong...therefore I choose everything and end up a lot of times with nothing left of myself because I have poured myself out in hopes of something in return only to find jobs halfheartedly done and mediocre results. This mindset, however, is detrimental in ministry. Let me explain it with a bit of my past....
Growing up I joined in on many sports and activities. Many times coaches would tell me I was good, I competed well, and I won here and there. Looking back, even though I chose all of them, I still wonder "what if". "What if I had solely focused on gymnastics?...diving?...cross country?...pole vaulting?...cheerleading?" Instead of mediocre success in multiple areas, had I focused on just one thing I could have made more of an impact. In ministry, I'm starting to realize that all areas of ministry are good and vital for the Church, but that doesn't mean I need to participate in all of them, give my time to all of them, but rather focus on the area for which God has given me a divine burden.
Are you stretched so thin people look through/past you? Or wherever you are, are you all there, making the significant impact you were designed to do?
Your challenge: Just One Thing.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
TIME
*Disclamer: I feel that writing this is a contradiction due to the hour in which it is being composed and the time that it consumes...oh well!*
". . . is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back," Harvey McKay.
As a friend and I were grabbing a coffee the other day, we talked about although we may or may not be where we anticipated being, to live on purpose. Previous to that I spent some time with friends I don't think I've seen in maybe a year or two and one of them mentioned a book and I just happen to begin reading it and it talked about being purposeful, especially with our time. Had I been reading the words on those pages a few years ago, I would have been constantly analyzing my days, weeks, and months realizing my time was completely booked without so much as a chance for an extra breath. But now? Let's just say that cup of coffee turned into two hours at the coffee shop and another three once we went back to campus and ended up spending time with people we ran into. Let me tell you, Northern Ireland and its culture has had its affect on me in several ways, but one of the most significant ones is teaching me to slow down, learn to say no, and spend time on priorities in my life so that I'm living on purpose for Him who died on purpose for me.
I have to say, something I have really struggled with while being in the States is attempting not to be completely consumed with the desire to be back in Northern Ireland. I feel like I'm that obnoxious girl who thinks she's so cultured and can't shut up about "Northern Ireland this" and "Northern Ireland that." Anyone who knows me knows that's not the case, I am simply passionate and completely consumed with God's work on the Emerald Isle. I can't explain it, but it's where He's brought me to and I can't help but talk about it...ALL THE TIME! But because of this, many times I struggle to truly live here in the States. That was until I read a line in this book Weird,
"Wherever you are, be all there."
What a challenge! And I'm always up for a challenge! However, I can't help thinking about how much time I've wasted and that spurs me on to, starting now, become weird(er). <---because many would claim I've already arrived at this lol! But think about it, we have been challenged by Scripture, "Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is," Ephesians 5:15-17. How are we spending our time? Are we, in the 24 hours of each day putting in overtime? If so...STOP! We need to stop trying to fit more into each day, wishing there were more hours in each day, and finding validation through our busyness. The answer isn't more time but a greater awareness of the time we have. You have enough time to do everything God wants you to do. If I actually began being honest and prioritizing how I spend my time...life would become less stressful, relationships would become deeper, and experiences would be more fulfilling because wherever I would be, I would be all there.
I have begun to see the ramifications (in a positive way) of living this weird way. This is not to say I am abandoning or never thinking of the girls I left (AND WILL RETURN TO!) in Northern Ireland, but moreso that I will fully embrace the moments God has presented in my life here and now. Since being back I have been busy, but not like I use to be. I am not busy running around...I'm busy investing in others, filling people in on ministry and life, I'm busy living alongside others and making time for the important, not just the urgent in life. Maybe I'm rambling, but I'll leave you with some pictures that would not have been able to happen if I hadn't slowed down, hadn't prioritized the important over the urgent, or hadn't been all there, wherever there had been at that time.
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| Tiffany and her family are such a blessing and I have been able to spend more time with them because I have lightened the load |
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| A chance to spend time with cousins in Nebraska and get to really invest in them and what they're doing in life these days |
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| First flight together! |
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| I'll forgive being a Cubs fan because both of them are such a blessing...a precious niece with her Uncle Chase (not only do they smile, but both of them and their families make me smile and warm my heart with love, generosity, guidance, and encouragement.) |
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| enjoying walks with people we love on a beautiful evening and enjoying God's creation and embracing it all ... TOGETHER |
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| I cannot explain the feeling that comes from the grasp of a child's hand to my own...but it is a delight |
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| bonding |
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| friendships that run deeper and become extended family and lifelong sisters |
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| whether new friends or old...experiences lasting a lifetime |
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| the picture speaks for itself :) |
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| road trip with grandma! |
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| beauty on a long trip |
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| getting to invest in the youth of God's army "Together we rise. Together we fight. Together we burn like a fire in the night. United by One. United by Blood. United we burn like a fire for Love." |
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| spending time with my best friend from preschool and her new baby girl! |
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| a sunset that literally sent a pier full of people into utter silence. |
*I find it ironic that as I began this post both the next chapter in the book I'm reading (WEIRD by Craig Groeschel) and the song that came on iTunes were both about the idea of "rest". Coincidence? I think not!*
Monday, August 13, 2012
REdefined
As I lie awake in the hours where tomorrow fades to today, I
wrestle with such indignant discontent.
My heart yearns to be back in Northern Ireland and, more often than I’m
used to, have found myself in tears.
Whether a talk with a friend, leader, or one of the young people from
the Emerald Isle, I am filled with mixed emotions of both defeat from not being
back there right alongside the desire to trudge forward with determination in
anticipation of a return to the place I have come to redefine as home and the people who have been redefined as family.
"Live for a purpose, not a paycheck." While I must admit I heard this simple,
yet profound sentence in an advert on TV, it has redefined my outlook on my life and even what I’m doing here to
prepare for my return to Northern Ireland and its beautiful people. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I
have been blessed with the opportunity to teach gymnastics yet again, which
includes a paycheck. What no one
really knew was that I had been praying since my return state-side for
opportunities to work and earn an income to put towards the financial side of
the mission. As I put on my STAFF
shirt, walk through the doors of Top Flight Gymnastics, coach alongside
teammates, and instruct young people in the art of gymnastics, it is not for
the paycheck...that paycheck has been redefined
as a purpose and a means to getting me back to where I left my heart months
ago.
The engagement, wedding, baby, and puppy blues. Anyone who knows me knows that my life
since being home has been filled with announcements of engagements, weddings,
babies, and puppies. That is
because I’m in the stage of life where everyone is redefining themselves and the aforementioned are encompassed in
that redefinition. The only problem is that although those
are future desires of mine, right now they do NOT define me at all, but I have been battling the feeling and pressure
of society that I should be there...but I’m not even headed in that direction.
I want to do so much more with my life than I am even doing
now; not be defined by the status
quo; I want to go beyond the world’s expectations; leave a legacy. But where none of that points to me,
but rather to the One for whom I live on purpose. “I love You, Lord, but I want to love You more. I need You, God, but I want to need You
more . . . I’m desperate for a desperate heart. I’m reaching out, I’m reaching. All that I am is dry bones without You, Lord, a desert soul. I am broken, but running towards you,
God. You make me whole.” These lyrics are a cry for God’s redefinition, reconstruction back into
our original purpose.
My cry is for God to redefine me, independent of how the world tries to define me. C.S. Lewis once said, “I have found a desire within myself that no experience in this world can satisfy; the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." I pray I let THAT world REdefine me.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
O.W.L.S. and Visa Update
LIFE UPDATE:
I have never been very comfortable interacting with my elders, especially those in the Senior Citizen bracket. I've just not really gripped how to talk with them or better what to talk with them about. Recently, however, that all changed. I was given the chance to drive my grandma eight hours to For Wilderness where she had volunteered for twelve years. Now that she is on her own and at times feels quite lonely, it was a perfect pick-me-up for her spirits and an opportunity for me to spread my wings a little bit.
Now at the Fort, the older volunteers were nicknamed summers back by the summer staff as O.W.L.S. (Older Wiser Loving Servants). How true this description is and I truly will be taking advantage of the relationships with O.W.L.S. in my life from now on. There was one lady, Mary, she was simply precious with such a joy-filled laugh that you were guaranteed to hear within your conversation with her, no matter the time of day or length of time spent. And the wisdom, hopes, fears, dreams, regrets (or lack thereof)...you want inspiration? Go to those who have lived and I mean truly lived. They filled me with encouragement, excitement, and anticipation of what God has in store for me while they said I gave them a walk down memory lane, restored their faith in younger generations (by sharing with them what friends of mine are doing for Kingdom work all over the world), and reminding them of the joys of life and living. We both gained so much without realizing we were giving in return. All I can say is it was such a blessing that I will never take for granted and would be difficult to forget.
VISA UPDATE:
There has been a backlog with the UKBA (United Kingdom Border Agency) and Certificates of Sponsorship the Kairos Centre applied for in the early months of this year have still not been awarded. This being said, this puts a pause on my visa application. All other paperwork has been filled out that needs documentation other than specific Visa papers that can only be completed with that form. Be praying not only for a quick response from the UKBA, but also be praising God for the opportunities this brings me while home. You see, when I arrived on US soil I prayed that God would provide a way for me to be able to personally work to give towards the financial side of the mission and ministry. Without telling anyone about this desire I received an e-mail from a former coach asking if I would be interested in work if it came across his desk (which of course I replied with an enthusiastic YES!). Although none came about, God had still let me know He had heard my cry. Then, a dear friend called about some extra cash I could make at the gym I formerly worked at in northern Kentucky. It turned out that not only will I be working straight this coming week, but I'll also be coaching for the Fall Term (13 Aug-6 Oct). This gives me the opportunity to put much more than I ever anticipated being able to put towards the financial side of it all. God is constantly reminding me that He is a part of this whole thing, even the process while I'm on this side of the Atlantic.
However, I carry with me a restless heart and I am looking forward to bringing it back to place it has become fond of calling home. God is my provider and though I cannot see the end, I know it is at hand, and I know we have the victory no matter my geographic location. "Rejoice in hope, patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer," Romans 12:12.
I have never been very comfortable interacting with my elders, especially those in the Senior Citizen bracket. I've just not really gripped how to talk with them or better what to talk with them about. Recently, however, that all changed. I was given the chance to drive my grandma eight hours to For Wilderness where she had volunteered for twelve years. Now that she is on her own and at times feels quite lonely, it was a perfect pick-me-up for her spirits and an opportunity for me to spread my wings a little bit.
Now at the Fort, the older volunteers were nicknamed summers back by the summer staff as O.W.L.S. (Older Wiser Loving Servants). How true this description is and I truly will be taking advantage of the relationships with O.W.L.S. in my life from now on. There was one lady, Mary, she was simply precious with such a joy-filled laugh that you were guaranteed to hear within your conversation with her, no matter the time of day or length of time spent. And the wisdom, hopes, fears, dreams, regrets (or lack thereof)...you want inspiration? Go to those who have lived and I mean truly lived. They filled me with encouragement, excitement, and anticipation of what God has in store for me while they said I gave them a walk down memory lane, restored their faith in younger generations (by sharing with them what friends of mine are doing for Kingdom work all over the world), and reminding them of the joys of life and living. We both gained so much without realizing we were giving in return. All I can say is it was such a blessing that I will never take for granted and would be difficult to forget.
VISA UPDATE:
There has been a backlog with the UKBA (United Kingdom Border Agency) and Certificates of Sponsorship the Kairos Centre applied for in the early months of this year have still not been awarded. This being said, this puts a pause on my visa application. All other paperwork has been filled out that needs documentation other than specific Visa papers that can only be completed with that form. Be praying not only for a quick response from the UKBA, but also be praising God for the opportunities this brings me while home. You see, when I arrived on US soil I prayed that God would provide a way for me to be able to personally work to give towards the financial side of the mission and ministry. Without telling anyone about this desire I received an e-mail from a former coach asking if I would be interested in work if it came across his desk (which of course I replied with an enthusiastic YES!). Although none came about, God had still let me know He had heard my cry. Then, a dear friend called about some extra cash I could make at the gym I formerly worked at in northern Kentucky. It turned out that not only will I be working straight this coming week, but I'll also be coaching for the Fall Term (13 Aug-6 Oct). This gives me the opportunity to put much more than I ever anticipated being able to put towards the financial side of it all. God is constantly reminding me that He is a part of this whole thing, even the process while I'm on this side of the Atlantic.
However, I carry with me a restless heart and I am looking forward to bringing it back to place it has become fond of calling home. God is my provider and though I cannot see the end, I know it is at hand, and I know we have the victory no matter my geographic location. "Rejoice in hope, patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer," Romans 12:12.
Friday, July 6, 2012
There's No Pause Button
Something that I've realized coming home is that many people say I'm on vacation, taking time off, or something along those lines. While I am taking this time to enjoy the beach down the road from my house and reconnecting with people State-side, that doesn't mean I'm on pause with ministry.
The more I'm away from home, the more I find myself compelled to invest heavily in people's lives (through conversations, prayer, and actions) both here in the States as well as in Northern Ireland. I'm really good at not staying connected with people. And I'm NOT proud of that. It's a weakness I'm trying to strengthen, staying communicated despite my geographical location.
However, I'm a firm believer that ministry is not a volunteer position, vocation, or career. It's a lifestyle. Many times when talking with people, they don't necessarily understand that, but when you're switched on and aware of what Christ has done for you, you can't help but have that overwhelm you to the point that it overflows into every aspect of your life: from conversations with cashiers (I embarrass my friends so much some times!), to difficult discussions with friends and family I love and want the best for, to standing strong for what I believe even when people I care about mock or test me (it breaks my heart, but grows my love for them and my longing for them to know Christ the way I do).
My life is an outpour of what Christ has done for me, in me, and through me. Some people may not understand that (you, the reader, maybe), it may seem crazy or ridiculous, but I'm compelled by what Sister Teresa once said: "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." Christ gave love until it hurt, unto death, how can I give any less than my life? I have found there is no pause button, life is always streaming live. I have to ask myself, is my live stream worth watching, or would God rather switch the channel?
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Overdue
I have now been back State-side for 6 weeks and I feel like I've been going 100 mph since I landed on 18 May. I am so thankful for this time at home, but anyone who's spent 3 minutes around me knows that although I am physically here in America, my heart is in Northern Ireland (because that's mostly what I tend to talk about...with everyone and anyone- literally!)
As many people know, but some may not, Kairos has asked me to come back on a three year mission post that I have accepted. Although we never quite know what God has planned for us, I have been affirmed and reaffirmed that Northern Ireland will be my home for at least the next few years! This is not something I'm taking lightly and feel heavily privileged to be a part of in the Kingdom work.
That said, while in the States until the end of October (get to be a part of another wedding! 2 down, 2 to go! YAY) I will be renewing my visa, connecting with churches and individuals, and expanding networking and partnerships for both spiritual and financial support.
My prayer is two-fold: I have seen God use me alongside teams both State-side and on the Emerald Isle...my prayer is that while God continues that work here State-side while I'm here, that He also bless the team I am yearning to return to over in Northern Ireland. My heart breaks and friends here have seen me shed many a tear because I so desperately want to be back with those on the Emerald Isle. I know that this has and will continue to be a time of refreshing, reconnecting, and rediscovering the passion God engraved on my heart many years ago. I am grateful for the blessings God has placed in my life and thank Him daily for allowing me to do what I'm doing and providing to make it all possible.
PS I promise the next update won't take nearly as long to post!!!!!!
"By the power that raised You i am made new!"
As many people know, but some may not, Kairos has asked me to come back on a three year mission post that I have accepted. Although we never quite know what God has planned for us, I have been affirmed and reaffirmed that Northern Ireland will be my home for at least the next few years! This is not something I'm taking lightly and feel heavily privileged to be a part of in the Kingdom work.
That said, while in the States until the end of October (get to be a part of another wedding! 2 down, 2 to go! YAY) I will be renewing my visa, connecting with churches and individuals, and expanding networking and partnerships for both spiritual and financial support.
My prayer is two-fold: I have seen God use me alongside teams both State-side and on the Emerald Isle...my prayer is that while God continues that work here State-side while I'm here, that He also bless the team I am yearning to return to over in Northern Ireland. My heart breaks and friends here have seen me shed many a tear because I so desperately want to be back with those on the Emerald Isle. I know that this has and will continue to be a time of refreshing, reconnecting, and rediscovering the passion God engraved on my heart many years ago. I am grateful for the blessings God has placed in my life and thank Him daily for allowing me to do what I'm doing and providing to make it all possible.
PS I promise the next update won't take nearly as long to post!!!!!!
"By the power that raised You i am made new!"
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Stressed to the Max
Not me, but the young people. This time of year marks a time of great stress in their lives. It's exam time. I know I don't completely understand their school system, but I do know it's different from ours and from what I can gather it's also much more intense. From now until the end of June please keep them with their revision and exams in your prayers. I have had 2 texts this week and a reminder from 2 others to keep them in my prayers. I remember what finals time was like at university, but they seem way more stressed about their exams than I ever did. I can only imagine what it's like for them. Pray that God help them buckle down to revise and calms their nerves and clears their heads to think thoroughly during examinations. I, and the young people, are so grateful for your prayers during this time! :)
Monday, May 7, 2012
Worship...Experience vs Response
As I am looking forward to heading home I am dreading leaving home at the same time. I'm at the point where I'm ready to go see people but reluctant to leave those I love here. Anyone who has been blessed with "a home away from home" can relate. For those who don't, I'll just say it's a bittersweet time.
While reflecting over the year, conversations had, and memories made I couldn't help but evaluate my life and where God has brought me. When this happens it also brings several other areas into focus. For me, one of those has been worship and how to define it. Conversations have been had about worship and as I have thought through what typically pops into my mind when it comes to worship, it's been ingrained in me to revert back to singing worship songs. However, I have found that, for me, worship has nothing to do with me. The only part that is about me is how I worship because it is different for each individual. I have found worship to be a response to what God has been doing in my life, not a way to almost "get me in the mood" to glorify Christ. I have a hard time understanding when people say, "I just wasn't feeling the worship today." As if it's suppose to be about the person and their liking. I feel it should be a culmination of response to what Christ has done throughout your week that you express collectively or privately.
For me, going for a run, dancing in the kitchen when no one is home, and singing and such with others, among other things, are ways that I worship. But I can guarantee that's not the case for everyone. And that makes complete sense because although we are all created in God's image, we have been made uniquely...."uniquely you" if you will.
During reflecting I have come to realize that many a time I find myself saying, "What I do is merely a response to what Christ first did for me." And I do my best to live a life that reflects well on the God I serve. With that in my mind I can't help, but look to the future as well. With leaving comes many meetings. And meetings bring talk of the future. I am excited to know that I will be coming back on a three year mission post with the Kairos Centre as the young women's ministry developer and youth volunteer coordinator.
For me, this is my worship as a lifestyle, specifically for the next three years. Of course there are details within that, but there is comfort in knowing where God has placed me for the next wee while. However, if I'm honest, I tend to question my abilities and fear failure, but I know this is satan elbowing me because God has placed people in my life to encourage me and I know that in our weakness He is strong and let's be honest, "He must increase, I must decrease." The less I'm in the way, the more God can move in the lives of His creation.
Please continue praying for the ministry we are a part of in Newcastle and that we daily surrender ourselves, get out of His way, and watch God move in incredible ways.
While reflecting over the year, conversations had, and memories made I couldn't help but evaluate my life and where God has brought me. When this happens it also brings several other areas into focus. For me, one of those has been worship and how to define it. Conversations have been had about worship and as I have thought through what typically pops into my mind when it comes to worship, it's been ingrained in me to revert back to singing worship songs. However, I have found that, for me, worship has nothing to do with me. The only part that is about me is how I worship because it is different for each individual. I have found worship to be a response to what God has been doing in my life, not a way to almost "get me in the mood" to glorify Christ. I have a hard time understanding when people say, "I just wasn't feeling the worship today." As if it's suppose to be about the person and their liking. I feel it should be a culmination of response to what Christ has done throughout your week that you express collectively or privately.
For me, going for a run, dancing in the kitchen when no one is home, and singing and such with others, among other things, are ways that I worship. But I can guarantee that's not the case for everyone. And that makes complete sense because although we are all created in God's image, we have been made uniquely...."uniquely you" if you will.
During reflecting I have come to realize that many a time I find myself saying, "What I do is merely a response to what Christ first did for me." And I do my best to live a life that reflects well on the God I serve. With that in my mind I can't help, but look to the future as well. With leaving comes many meetings. And meetings bring talk of the future. I am excited to know that I will be coming back on a three year mission post with the Kairos Centre as the young women's ministry developer and youth volunteer coordinator.
For me, this is my worship as a lifestyle, specifically for the next three years. Of course there are details within that, but there is comfort in knowing where God has placed me for the next wee while. However, if I'm honest, I tend to question my abilities and fear failure, but I know this is satan elbowing me because God has placed people in my life to encourage me and I know that in our weakness He is strong and let's be honest, "He must increase, I must decrease." The less I'm in the way, the more God can move in the lives of His creation.
Please continue praying for the ministry we are a part of in Newcastle and that we daily surrender ourselves, get out of His way, and watch God move in incredible ways.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Indispensable
As my time comes to an end (I head back home in just about a month to do some planning and preparing for my future over here) I can't help, but be filled with mixed emotions. I'm excited to be home and spending time with friends and family. However, I feel that I've just begun to scratch the surface with the young ladies I am blessed to spend time with. I want to help them, reveal Christ and His love to them, and invest in them, their lives, and their futures.
However, what I am constantly reminding myself is the simple, yet profound truth that although I and others come and go, God was here before any of us came, has been here while we have, and will be here once we've left. So many times we can get into this thought process of, "What'll happen while I'm gone?" This is such a dangerous mindset to get into because the ministry doesn't begin and end with any of us. We are simply who God chooses to work through, but He doesn't even need us, but rather He wants us.
No one is indispensable.
Now some people might hear that and be appalled. If that's you and you're still reading I'm not sorry. This is not to be harsh to anyone, but more a self-check that I need to call myself out on every now and again because if I'm thinking it all begins and ends with me then I'm saying it's all about me and God's not in it, but my true heart's desire is that I step out of the way and let God do His thing, whether that includes me or not because I'm not indispensable.
These are things you think about when you're leaving a ministry for a time. One thing I know is true is although I am replaceable, there is One man who is not, and it's the only man known to be fully man and fully God. This ministry would not be possible without the sacrifice, love, ministry, truth, and power of Jesus Christ, He is the only, and always will be the only, indispensable One, ever.
When you truly grasp that fact, that you are replaceable, IT'S FREEING! Christ gave us freedom, even in ministry He has freed us so that if we simply choose to let Him work through us, we don't have to depend on ourselves, but His power working through us to reach those for Him. Such a comfort because I know I am weak, but I have really been hit with the reality that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. And that could not be more true than in this ministry to young women I have the blessing of being a part of because I am the most unlikely candidate for that ministry, yet God has put it on my heart, and I love that because I constantly have to lean on Him, and that is a great comfort.
Be encouraged by the fact that you are replaceable. It doesn't begin and end with you. Christ sent the Holy Spirit to us as a help, not a hindrance. Christ doesn't need us, but He wants us and wants to use us. Christ frees us from trying to do it on our own strength (which will fail), but with Him on our team, we can't fail. It's not our efforts, strength, or willpower, but Christ in us. Now that's a relief, because I know me and my imperfections, insecurities, insufficiencies...Thank God He sent Christ and the Holy Spirit.
However, what I am constantly reminding myself is the simple, yet profound truth that although I and others come and go, God was here before any of us came, has been here while we have, and will be here once we've left. So many times we can get into this thought process of, "What'll happen while I'm gone?" This is such a dangerous mindset to get into because the ministry doesn't begin and end with any of us. We are simply who God chooses to work through, but He doesn't even need us, but rather He wants us.
No one is indispensable.
Now some people might hear that and be appalled. If that's you and you're still reading I'm not sorry. This is not to be harsh to anyone, but more a self-check that I need to call myself out on every now and again because if I'm thinking it all begins and ends with me then I'm saying it's all about me and God's not in it, but my true heart's desire is that I step out of the way and let God do His thing, whether that includes me or not because I'm not indispensable.
These are things you think about when you're leaving a ministry for a time. One thing I know is true is although I am replaceable, there is One man who is not, and it's the only man known to be fully man and fully God. This ministry would not be possible without the sacrifice, love, ministry, truth, and power of Jesus Christ, He is the only, and always will be the only, indispensable One, ever.
When you truly grasp that fact, that you are replaceable, IT'S FREEING! Christ gave us freedom, even in ministry He has freed us so that if we simply choose to let Him work through us, we don't have to depend on ourselves, but His power working through us to reach those for Him. Such a comfort because I know I am weak, but I have really been hit with the reality that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. And that could not be more true than in this ministry to young women I have the blessing of being a part of because I am the most unlikely candidate for that ministry, yet God has put it on my heart, and I love that because I constantly have to lean on Him, and that is a great comfort.
Be encouraged by the fact that you are replaceable. It doesn't begin and end with you. Christ sent the Holy Spirit to us as a help, not a hindrance. Christ doesn't need us, but He wants us and wants to use us. Christ frees us from trying to do it on our own strength (which will fail), but with Him on our team, we can't fail. It's not our efforts, strength, or willpower, but Christ in us. Now that's a relief, because I know me and my imperfections, insecurities, insufficiencies...Thank God He sent Christ and the Holy Spirit.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Friendship/Relationship: Conditional vs Unconditional
Last Tuesday while at Homework Haven, one of the young men and I began talking about friendships and relationships. He was upset because one of the young ladies was not making a wise decision even after him, and others, let her know of their concerns for her and her safety. From this came a discussion of our views on friendships and relationships.
What came to light for me is that he sees all friendships and relationships as conditional. The idea of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine". This was an eye opening and heart opening conversation for both of us. With me coming at the discussion from the thought of Christ and how He loves us unconditionally, I try in my best effort to love those around me in much the same way (and I will be honest, I fail daily, but I try). He, on the other hand comes at it from a worldly perspective of what is in his best interest. It was incredible being at a homework club, and somehow such a deep conversation arises. This is just one of several encouragements to me that God really can and does use all things, circumstances, and people to make His name famous.
What was interesting is that through the course of the conversation, I was better able to understand where he was coming from, yet he also began to see the significance in unconditional love within friendships and relationships and that he, in fact, showed unconditional love at times, which, if we're all honest, is how we all are. Only God truly loves unconditionally because we are selfish people with a sinful nature, but God is perfect and in that, His love is perfect. There are many times when I get discouraged in the ministry, thinking that the time we spend with the young people goes unappreciated, unnoticed, and the conversations in one ear and out the other. But I wanted to share this encouragement with you that that is not the case, God is moving, and the Holy Spirit is working in the lives of the young people over here.
Praise God for His unconditional love and I pray that as we draw closer to Him, others draw closer to us, that an invisible Kingdom may become visible...Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, one earth as it is in heaven.
What came to light for me is that he sees all friendships and relationships as conditional. The idea of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine". This was an eye opening and heart opening conversation for both of us. With me coming at the discussion from the thought of Christ and how He loves us unconditionally, I try in my best effort to love those around me in much the same way (and I will be honest, I fail daily, but I try). He, on the other hand comes at it from a worldly perspective of what is in his best interest. It was incredible being at a homework club, and somehow such a deep conversation arises. This is just one of several encouragements to me that God really can and does use all things, circumstances, and people to make His name famous.
What was interesting is that through the course of the conversation, I was better able to understand where he was coming from, yet he also began to see the significance in unconditional love within friendships and relationships and that he, in fact, showed unconditional love at times, which, if we're all honest, is how we all are. Only God truly loves unconditionally because we are selfish people with a sinful nature, but God is perfect and in that, His love is perfect. There are many times when I get discouraged in the ministry, thinking that the time we spend with the young people goes unappreciated, unnoticed, and the conversations in one ear and out the other. But I wanted to share this encouragement with you that that is not the case, God is moving, and the Holy Spirit is working in the lives of the young people over here.
Praise God for His unconditional love and I pray that as we draw closer to Him, others draw closer to us, that an invisible Kingdom may become visible...Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, one earth as it is in heaven.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Where the Unexpected & Unanticipated Collide
Tonight I went to spend time at some friends' house where I anticipated watching a movie. It turned into four hours of truly experiencing what it means to be in living, loving community with the body of Christ. As people were coming in and out of the house from the garage, into the kitchen (where I was kind of hunkered down and quite comfy), and into other rooms of the house I couldn't help, but smile at the depiction of Christ in our midsts.
One of the older men was having an impromptu Bible study with some of the young men while some of the young women and I sipped on our tea and shared our hearts, laughs, and struggles and were later joined by others to simply enjoy each other's company. To the others tonight might have only been a "bit of banter" and "good craic", but to me it was nothing like what I expected and nothing I could've anticipated.
But you know, looking back, I never would have expected that this would be my life at 24 years of age. And I couldn't have anticipated not only what God would carry me through, but also what He's brought me to. He truly does know our hearts better than we know ourselves. He continually reminds me of this through the ministry with the young women I'm blessed to serve. Today was the first day of our healthy living program. With five young ladies joining a few volunteers, my heart was full of joy and I honestly think it's because, although I have taken some detours and not always stayed God's exact path for myself (the Holy Spirit being somewhat like a GPS when I take a wrong turn with that genius phrase: "recalculating" lol), but I'm doing what God wants me to do with whom He wants me to do it exactly where He sees fit.
Only God can be the explanation for a tomboy from a small town on a big 'ole city being led to minister to young women in a seaside town in Northern Ireland. When people ask me how I know this is where God wants me I come back to what a wise friend once said about me, "For a girl in her twenties who lives in sweats and t-shirts, hair pulled back in a mess, and a face free of make-up (because she doesn't own any) with a job offer for something she loves doing...for that girl to move over 3,000 miles away to do a ministry that is quite foreign, in a foreign land, and do her best to learn how to dress like a lady, wear make-up, and do her hair just so that she can better reach the young women of that area for Christ...only God has enough of an imagination and as good a sense of humor and enough strength to conjure up something like that in the heart of a young woman."
Christ in me, the hope and glory. The only explanation for this story I'm loving to live and living to love.
One of the older men was having an impromptu Bible study with some of the young men while some of the young women and I sipped on our tea and shared our hearts, laughs, and struggles and were later joined by others to simply enjoy each other's company. To the others tonight might have only been a "bit of banter" and "good craic", but to me it was nothing like what I expected and nothing I could've anticipated.
But you know, looking back, I never would have expected that this would be my life at 24 years of age. And I couldn't have anticipated not only what God would carry me through, but also what He's brought me to. He truly does know our hearts better than we know ourselves. He continually reminds me of this through the ministry with the young women I'm blessed to serve. Today was the first day of our healthy living program. With five young ladies joining a few volunteers, my heart was full of joy and I honestly think it's because, although I have taken some detours and not always stayed God's exact path for myself (the Holy Spirit being somewhat like a GPS when I take a wrong turn with that genius phrase: "recalculating" lol), but I'm doing what God wants me to do with whom He wants me to do it exactly where He sees fit.
Only God can be the explanation for a tomboy from a small town on a big 'ole city being led to minister to young women in a seaside town in Northern Ireland. When people ask me how I know this is where God wants me I come back to what a wise friend once said about me, "For a girl in her twenties who lives in sweats and t-shirts, hair pulled back in a mess, and a face free of make-up (because she doesn't own any) with a job offer for something she loves doing...for that girl to move over 3,000 miles away to do a ministry that is quite foreign, in a foreign land, and do her best to learn how to dress like a lady, wear make-up, and do her hair just so that she can better reach the young women of that area for Christ...only God has enough of an imagination and as good a sense of humor and enough strength to conjure up something like that in the heart of a young woman."
Christ in me, the hope and glory. The only explanation for this story I'm loving to live and living to love.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Fearfully & Wonderfully Made
There are some aspects of society that transcends borders, cultures, continents. For young women, it is the way they view themselves. Unfortunately, the media has only used this struggle as a way to make money off of the female gender. I have sadly had more conversations this week with beautiful young women struggling with their body image more than I had in the whole time I was at university (and I lived on a floor with about 30 ladies!)
In and around October my fellow intern and I decided we were going to run a program for the young ladies to help them see their beauty (both inward and outward) and give them a place where they know they can talk about their struggles, work through them, and come alongside each other in accountability. This is not, however, the first time I've run this type of program because I actually based it off of a program we did at university called Get Fit Get P.H.A.T.: Fearfully & Wonderfully Made. And in it's 7 weeks of running we will go through 5 areas of holistic healthy living: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Social, & Spiritual. Each week we will engage in a different type of physical activity to help the girls figure out what way they enjoy exercising. Some, like myself, might enjoy circuit training and running and playing sports where others might enjoy walking, yoga, or cycling (I wish I enjoyed cycling!). Each young lady will also make a goal for herself, however, the stipulations are that it cannot pertain to a weight goal or clothes size because that way it is something that can continue on in the long run (i.e. eating a salad 3 times a week or walking 30 mins each day, etc.). We want to help the girls realize that there are more aspects to a healthy life than being a certain weight or fit into a certain size.
The biggest truth that we want the girls to walk away with is that God doesn't make mistakes and that they are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. So many times we as women look for who we are suppose to be in the magazines, TV ads, and movies. The fact of the matter is societies view on beauty changes...just take a look at pictures of "beautiful women" in the '60s to now. Societies view changes, but God's doesn't. "Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."- 1 Peter 3:3-4.
Why am I telling you all this? Because we need your prayers. Like I said, we've been planning this program since October and I don't find it a coincidence that we haven't gotten the funding until now, about a week before the program begins and only about a week after having conversations with girls about their negative view of themselves. This program is under God's timing, His control, pray that we speak His Truth into their lives throughout the entire program. Who knows, maybe this will continue past the 7 weeks! Thank you again for your continued prayer. You are an intricate part of the ministry here in Newcastle and what we're doing would not be possible without your prayers!
In and around October my fellow intern and I decided we were going to run a program for the young ladies to help them see their beauty (both inward and outward) and give them a place where they know they can talk about their struggles, work through them, and come alongside each other in accountability. This is not, however, the first time I've run this type of program because I actually based it off of a program we did at university called Get Fit Get P.H.A.T.: Fearfully & Wonderfully Made. And in it's 7 weeks of running we will go through 5 areas of holistic healthy living: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Social, & Spiritual. Each week we will engage in a different type of physical activity to help the girls figure out what way they enjoy exercising. Some, like myself, might enjoy circuit training and running and playing sports where others might enjoy walking, yoga, or cycling (I wish I enjoyed cycling!). Each young lady will also make a goal for herself, however, the stipulations are that it cannot pertain to a weight goal or clothes size because that way it is something that can continue on in the long run (i.e. eating a salad 3 times a week or walking 30 mins each day, etc.). We want to help the girls realize that there are more aspects to a healthy life than being a certain weight or fit into a certain size.
The biggest truth that we want the girls to walk away with is that God doesn't make mistakes and that they are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. So many times we as women look for who we are suppose to be in the magazines, TV ads, and movies. The fact of the matter is societies view on beauty changes...just take a look at pictures of "beautiful women" in the '60s to now. Societies view changes, but God's doesn't. "Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."- 1 Peter 3:3-4.
Why am I telling you all this? Because we need your prayers. Like I said, we've been planning this program since October and I don't find it a coincidence that we haven't gotten the funding until now, about a week before the program begins and only about a week after having conversations with girls about their negative view of themselves. This program is under God's timing, His control, pray that we speak His Truth into their lives throughout the entire program. Who knows, maybe this will continue past the 7 weeks! Thank you again for your continued prayer. You are an intricate part of the ministry here in Newcastle and what we're doing would not be possible without your prayers!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Celebration Weekend
This weekend was filled with celebrations, from a birthday to St. Patty's Day to Mother's Day, this side of the Atlantic was buzzing!
These lovely ladies in this picture with me have been some of the greatest blessings to me while I do ministry. Ewelina (bottom) is from Poland, was born on St. Patrick's Day, and hopefully will be living with me in the near future, God willing everything works out with our living situations. Mackenzie (top left) currently works in Kesh, but comes to visit every now and again to her "home away from home away from home" and is originally from the Chicagoland area, like myself. We met at Murlough House during the summer of 2009 and have stayed close ever since.
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| In Tollymore Forest during internship summer 2009 |
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| During one of Macintosh's recent visits to Newcastle |
Mackenzie (AKA Macintosh) came down and celebrated Ewelina's (AKA E-Dubs) birthday and St. Patrick's Day with us. She and I were able to go to Downpatrick for the parade, watched Irish dancing, listened to traditional Irish music, as well as visiting St. Patrick's resting place. It was lovely to enjoy the cultural atmosphere with a few other foreigners! Hehe It was also Mother's Day on the Emerald Isle on Sunday. After church, we spent the afternoon with the 2 cutest babies in Newcastle and their beautiful mothers. It was the perfect way to celebrate the day, although it was a bit difficult for me, knowing I wasn't able to say Happy Mother's Day to my own mother.
With great celebration also came difficulties within the ministry on the weekend. Sunday night we had to intervene in a fight that happened outside the Kairos. As much as there are great progressions occurring with the young people, satan is not excited and is using events like that to discourage our team of willing servants that volunteer. God is moving here in Newcastle, there's no doubt about that, but where God is moving through willing servants, satan tries to destroy the victory we already have as members of the Kingdom. These lyrics express our cry perfectly:
Bring Your Kingdom Here
by Rend Collective Experiement
Come set Your rule and reignIn our hearts againIncrease in us we prayUnveil why we're madeCome set our hearts ablaze with hopeLike wildfire in our very soulsHoly Spirit come invade us nowWe are Your ChurchWe need Your powerIn us
We seek Your kingdom firstWe hunger and we thirstRefuse to waste our livesFor You're our joy and prizeTo see the captive hearts releasedThe hurt, the sick, the poor at peaceWe lay down our lives for heaven's causeWe are Your churchWe pray reviveThis earth
Build Your kingdom hereLet the darkness fearShow Your mighty handHeal our streets and landSet Your church on fireWin this nation backChange the atmosphereBuild Your kingdom hereWe pray
Unleash Your kingdoms powerReaching the near and farNo force of hell can stopYour beauty changing heartsYou made us for much more than thisAwake the kingdom seed in usFill us with the strength and love of ChristWe are Your churchWe are the hopeOn earth
Something exciting I will be blessed to experience is a true Irish wedding! Two lovely friends will be tying the knot in a couple weeks and it has everyone chatting about what to wear, what the bride will be wearing, and the dancing we're all excited for.
Prayer Points:
1. Wisdom during tough situations
2. Housing situation upon return
3. Holy Spirit intervening in the lives of the young people as well as in our interactions with them
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
You're the God of this city, You're the King of these people, You're the Lord of this nation, You are...
Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done here...
This past month has been filled with ups and downs both in events within the town and within the hearts and lives of its people. During this last month was the anniversary of a horrific stabbing resulting in the death of one of the well-known young people of the town. Within a week after the memorial in remembrance of this young man, one of his family members was stabbed, and the weekend following that another of his family members were stabbed. Thankfully neither were fatal, but tears, fears, and heartache have consumed the young people we encounter at drop-in.
Romans 8:28 says that God uses all things for the good of those called according to His purpose. I emphasis all because He has used this fatal stabbing and the recent outlashes to bring about extended ministries, vulnerable and open conversations between young people and leaders, as well as shining God's light into a dark situation through hope and healing.
Extended ministries: Because of the stabbing last year, a new ministry outreach of drop-in on Sunday nights from 8-10pm has developed. This is one of multiple occasions when the young people are introduced to the Gospel message.
Vulnerable and open conversations: Young women who seemed to have such a tough exterior have began to breakdown, let leaders in, and speak from their hearts of the pain, fears, and hurt they are experiencing.
Shining God's light through hope and healing: Conversations are beginning with those who have a fear of death and dying, they are continually asking us questions and are contemplating giving their lives to Christ, but desiring to know and understand what that truly means before taking that next step.
Pray for continual guidance and intervening of the Holy Spirit in conversations with the young people and their lives; that the Holy Spirit move like we've never seen it move before, stirring the hearts of these young people. God's hand can be seen in what's happening in Newcastle. Where do you see Him?
This past month has been filled with ups and downs both in events within the town and within the hearts and lives of its people. During this last month was the anniversary of a horrific stabbing resulting in the death of one of the well-known young people of the town. Within a week after the memorial in remembrance of this young man, one of his family members was stabbed, and the weekend following that another of his family members were stabbed. Thankfully neither were fatal, but tears, fears, and heartache have consumed the young people we encounter at drop-in.
Romans 8:28 says that God uses all things for the good of those called according to His purpose. I emphasis all because He has used this fatal stabbing and the recent outlashes to bring about extended ministries, vulnerable and open conversations between young people and leaders, as well as shining God's light into a dark situation through hope and healing.
Extended ministries: Because of the stabbing last year, a new ministry outreach of drop-in on Sunday nights from 8-10pm has developed. This is one of multiple occasions when the young people are introduced to the Gospel message.
Vulnerable and open conversations: Young women who seemed to have such a tough exterior have began to breakdown, let leaders in, and speak from their hearts of the pain, fears, and hurt they are experiencing.
Shining God's light through hope and healing: Conversations are beginning with those who have a fear of death and dying, they are continually asking us questions and are contemplating giving their lives to Christ, but desiring to know and understand what that truly means before taking that next step.
Pray for continual guidance and intervening of the Holy Spirit in conversations with the young people and their lives; that the Holy Spirit move like we've never seen it move before, stirring the hearts of these young people. God's hand can be seen in what's happening in Newcastle. Where do you see Him?
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Why do I...
...run? When people find out that I run many a time their reaction comes in the form of a simple question, "Why?!" For me more than most the answer hits all too close to home: I run for those who can't. I grew up watching my sister not be able to run around with the rest of us. Mind you, she was very active, but I know not to the capacity of the rest of us or to the capacity that she desired and probably still does to this day. I would eventually like to train for a marathon to raise money for spinal cord research. So yes, at times it is painful, difficult, and awful. But if it gives those who can't run a chance in the future to do so here on earth, I'll continue to run through the blood, sweat, and tears for those who can't. Why do I run? For those who can't.
...stand? Those who know me well know that I'm not one to stay still for long. Even when I sit I'm rarely still, but many notice that I stand more often than not. When told I can sit down a lot of times I'll prefer to stand. Again, this reason hits close to home again. Both with my sister and my mom. As my sister has gotten older she has had to revert from crutches to a wheelchair....constantly sitting. This, combined with watching my mother who was once so strong become restricted to a hospice bed has made me thankful for the gift of being able to stand. Again, I stand for those who can't, and thank God as I stand.
move? Lastly, a question the young people at drop-in continually ask me is, "Why would you move to Northern Ireland when you're from America?!" My answer? Because I want you to know the real, raw love that's been revealed to me. Some people will never understand why I would move to Northern Ireland, but just as some have been called to bring Christ into their communities in the States, God has called me to Northern Ireland and my heart has been captivated by this, His beautiful nation that He wants to see redeemed back to Himself.
These three realizations came to me as God and I were on a run around Newcastle. Why do I run? Why do I stand? Why did I move? To bring Hope.
Why do you do what you do? If you have no purpose you have no purpose doing what you're doing. The ministry here in Newcastle is not easy, but it's worth it. Seeing young women from the community stepping over the thresholds of church buildings that I pray leads to a living, breathing, active, healing, deepening relationship with the living, breathing, active, healing Creator of their souls is my desire, my cry, and, most excitingly, slowly becoming a reality. My desire is that they yearn with a passion for Christ who traded life for life for them. We all have the blood of God on our hands, Christ came and traded bloody hand for bloody hand. Bloody foot for bloody foot. My prayer is that you have chosen Christ for the alternative is...unspeakable. If you don't choose Jesus you choose justice. Christ died so we don't have to. Live for Him.
Why do you (fill in the blank)?
...stand? Those who know me well know that I'm not one to stay still for long. Even when I sit I'm rarely still, but many notice that I stand more often than not. When told I can sit down a lot of times I'll prefer to stand. Again, this reason hits close to home again. Both with my sister and my mom. As my sister has gotten older she has had to revert from crutches to a wheelchair....constantly sitting. This, combined with watching my mother who was once so strong become restricted to a hospice bed has made me thankful for the gift of being able to stand. Again, I stand for those who can't, and thank God as I stand.
move? Lastly, a question the young people at drop-in continually ask me is, "Why would you move to Northern Ireland when you're from America?!" My answer? Because I want you to know the real, raw love that's been revealed to me. Some people will never understand why I would move to Northern Ireland, but just as some have been called to bring Christ into their communities in the States, God has called me to Northern Ireland and my heart has been captivated by this, His beautiful nation that He wants to see redeemed back to Himself.
These three realizations came to me as God and I were on a run around Newcastle. Why do I run? Why do I stand? Why did I move? To bring Hope.
Why do you do what you do? If you have no purpose you have no purpose doing what you're doing. The ministry here in Newcastle is not easy, but it's worth it. Seeing young women from the community stepping over the thresholds of church buildings that I pray leads to a living, breathing, active, healing, deepening relationship with the living, breathing, active, healing Creator of their souls is my desire, my cry, and, most excitingly, slowly becoming a reality. My desire is that they yearn with a passion for Christ who traded life for life for them. We all have the blood of God on our hands, Christ came and traded bloody hand for bloody hand. Bloody foot for bloody foot. My prayer is that you have chosen Christ for the alternative is...unspeakable. If you don't choose Jesus you choose justice. Christ died so we don't have to. Live for Him.
Why do you (fill in the blank)?
Monday, March 5, 2012
It's Time...
To jump off that cliff without a parachute, drop those stones, and step over that line.
As I was meeting for coffee with a lovely woman in ministry, I was encouraged to know I'm not crazy, what I'm doing is not a waste of time, and I'm going to be misunderstood by many people in the churches.
To this she said, "Kylie, keep doing what you're doing, don't be afraid to jump off that cliff without a parachute. God's got you and He loves what you're doing because you're bringing hope, healing, and Him to those in need."
Coincidentally (or not) our conversation was directed onto the topic of the woman caught in adultery. We began talking about the fact that so many times we are the people holding the stones when what we need to do is drop our stones. The coincidence (or not) came when we were have our discipleship group with the young volunteers and this story came up yet again. I shared with the group that coming and serving at drop-in, serving those young people who come up, we need to drop our stones and step over that line. Jesus wasn't standing with those who held the stones, He stood alongside her. If they had thrown the stones, they weren't throwing them at the woman, they would have been throwing them at Jesus.
It's time that we as the Church jump off that cliff without a parachute, drop our stones, and step over that line. Are you ready?
As I was meeting for coffee with a lovely woman in ministry, I was encouraged to know I'm not crazy, what I'm doing is not a waste of time, and I'm going to be misunderstood by many people in the churches.
To this she said, "Kylie, keep doing what you're doing, don't be afraid to jump off that cliff without a parachute. God's got you and He loves what you're doing because you're bringing hope, healing, and Him to those in need."
Coincidentally (or not) our conversation was directed onto the topic of the woman caught in adultery. We began talking about the fact that so many times we are the people holding the stones when what we need to do is drop our stones. The coincidence (or not) came when we were have our discipleship group with the young volunteers and this story came up yet again. I shared with the group that coming and serving at drop-in, serving those young people who come up, we need to drop our stones and step over that line. Jesus wasn't standing with those who held the stones, He stood alongside her. If they had thrown the stones, they weren't throwing them at the woman, they would have been throwing them at Jesus.
It's time that we as the Church jump off that cliff without a parachute, drop our stones, and step over that line. Are you ready?
Monday, February 27, 2012
At the beginning with You...
Have you ever had flashbacks to memories of things that had once been: loves you never thought you'd lose, people you always thought would be around, places you thought you'd never leave? The past few days have been filled with flashbacks of all these and if I'm honest, they've filled me with fear, doubt, and heartache all over again.
Oddly enough my iTunes is on shuffle and the lyrics of the current song can only be a message from God specially sent to me at the perfect moment because I've never heard it and didn't even know it was on my iTunes....take a look and you'll see why:
Theres a river of love that's here
Theres a river of grace thats here.
You're invited to come and swim
Within
Theres a river of love thats here
Theres a river of grace thats here
Youre invited to come and swim
Within
Fresh winds are blowing
Fresh winds are coming here
The tide, it is rising
The spirit is moving
He's moving
Death to the past its gone!
Heres to a new beginning
For our Gods not finised yet with Us.
Death to the past its gone
Heres to a new beginning
For your Gods not finished yet
with you.
Theres a river of life thats here
Theres a river of joy thats here
youre invited to come and swim
within
Theres a river of life thats here
Theres a river of joy thats here
Youre invited to come and swim
within
Fresh winds are blowing
fresh winds are coming here
The tide it is rising
The spirit is moving
Hes moving
Death to the past its gone!
Heres to a new beginning
For our Gods not finished yet
with us
Death to the past its gone!
Heres to a new beginning
For your Gods not finished yet
with you.
Hes not finished with you yet.
Hes not finished with you yet.
Hes not finished with you yet.
Hes not finished with you yet,
For Greater is He that is in you
and He that is in the world
For Greater is He that is in you
and He that is in the world
For Greater is He that is in you
and He that is in the world
For Greater is He that is in you
and He that is in the world
For Greater is He that is in you
and He that is in the world
My mom's 51st birthday would've been the other day and every fiber in my being wishes I could talk with her about the ministry I'm blessed to be a part of here in Newcastle, heartaches that only a mother can console, my fears of inadequacy, and the reality of my undeserving circumstances (to think God would choose to use such a person as me continues to baffle me). This song, however, and so many Scriptures remind me that no matter where I am in life, God's still not finished with me yet.
Life is nothing like I thought it would be, yet it's greater than I ever could've concocted. Looking back into the past can sometimes make me fearful of the future because of pain I never anticipated experiencing, yet when I fix my eyes on Jesus and daily have an eternal outlook it reminds me that with my mom it's just a long "see ya later", loves lost are really making room for God's perfect plan (no matter what that looks like), and God is reaching my heart's desires in places I never thought I'd visit, let alone live. God's plans far exceeds our best attempts on our own.
As Paul says, ". . . one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. . ."
Here's to a new beginning...let's see what He chooses to write in this next chapter. I don't know about you, but I'M EXCITED!!
Friday, February 24, 2012
People, Prayer, & Pup
People:
Sometimes ministry is messy. We are imperfect people, serving imperfect people, alongside other imperfect people. This is something I've always known and I've embraced, however, as somewhat of a perfectionist, I can find it difficult at times. At the Kairos Centre we work with a variety of people...those who follow Christ and those who couldn't care less, those who have addictions and those who have been freed from bondage, those who live a life of recklessness and those who live in reckless abandonment for Christ.
Prayer:
There are many hypothetical situations you talk through and discuss while working towards a youth ministry degree. Reality and heartache set in when you realize those hypothetical situations only stay hypothetical so long. The names, places, and details will change, but the situations...they're not hypothetical anymore, they're reality, a horrible reality, but they're the reality we're a part of. And as Christ's ambassadors on earth we're called to come alongside the brokenhearted, the faint in spirit, those in need. Please pray for the young people of Newcastle. These are no longer hypothetical heartaches and life situations...they are reality, and they are the reality for some beautiful, young people. Pray for them and pray that we can truly bring Christ into their lives.
Pup:
Since I've been back, it's like coming back from the "honeymoon" of the ministry. I would be lying if I said everything was wonderful and easy. However, what excites me is that, despite the difficult situations in the ministry here in Northern Ireland...my heart and passion are still for Newcastle. Encouragement, however, comes in all shapes and sizes...like tonight, one of the young men who comes to drop-in came up to me while I was sweeping the floor and said, "kylie, you're some wee pup." I laughed and told him I had no clue what he meant by that. He simply smiled and said, "you're a good person." You get to know these kids: good, bad, and the ugly. And the reality is they see your good, bad, and ugly just as well. Yet they still see our good. My heart's desire is to always see the good, no matter the situation. Christ bore our sins on the cross and I believe it's because He accepted us where we were at, but loved us too much to leave us unchanged. He saw us for what we could be. Let's love each other for who we could be in such a way that spurs each other on to be who we were meant to be for Christ.
Sometimes ministry is messy. We are imperfect people, serving imperfect people, alongside other imperfect people. This is something I've always known and I've embraced, however, as somewhat of a perfectionist, I can find it difficult at times. At the Kairos Centre we work with a variety of people...those who follow Christ and those who couldn't care less, those who have addictions and those who have been freed from bondage, those who live a life of recklessness and those who live in reckless abandonment for Christ.
Prayer:
There are many hypothetical situations you talk through and discuss while working towards a youth ministry degree. Reality and heartache set in when you realize those hypothetical situations only stay hypothetical so long. The names, places, and details will change, but the situations...they're not hypothetical anymore, they're reality, a horrible reality, but they're the reality we're a part of. And as Christ's ambassadors on earth we're called to come alongside the brokenhearted, the faint in spirit, those in need. Please pray for the young people of Newcastle. These are no longer hypothetical heartaches and life situations...they are reality, and they are the reality for some beautiful, young people. Pray for them and pray that we can truly bring Christ into their lives.
Pup:
Since I've been back, it's like coming back from the "honeymoon" of the ministry. I would be lying if I said everything was wonderful and easy. However, what excites me is that, despite the difficult situations in the ministry here in Northern Ireland...my heart and passion are still for Newcastle. Encouragement, however, comes in all shapes and sizes...like tonight, one of the young men who comes to drop-in came up to me while I was sweeping the floor and said, "kylie, you're some wee pup." I laughed and told him I had no clue what he meant by that. He simply smiled and said, "you're a good person." You get to know these kids: good, bad, and the ugly. And the reality is they see your good, bad, and ugly just as well. Yet they still see our good. My heart's desire is to always see the good, no matter the situation. Christ bore our sins on the cross and I believe it's because He accepted us where we were at, but loved us too much to leave us unchanged. He saw us for what we could be. Let's love each other for who we could be in such a way that spurs each other on to be who we were meant to be for Christ.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Invisible
Have you ever felt invisible to someone? This recently happened to me and it really got me thinking while I was lying awake in bed. As I was talking with God I became frustrated, not with the people to whom I seemed invisible, but frustrated with myself for even caring. You see, people seeing or not seeing me shouldn't matter, in the grand scheme of things it really shouldn't. Instead, I began arguing with myself about the Truth...and the Truth is, I'm not invisible to God. The Creator of the universe sees me, all of me, good, bad, and the ugly, and He still chose to die on the cross because He sees me.
It really hit me then and there that what I experienced is the world in which the young people we work with deal with on a daily basis. A few months back one of the other volunteers and I were coming home from a different program, not associated with Kairos, but still working with young people. We were heading back to my house so we decided to call a taxi. As we entered the car, the driver asked what we were doing and we explained that we were running a program for the young people of the churches in the area. Upon hearing this he asked if we had heard about The Kairos Centre and the work they did with the disadvantaged young people in the surrounding estates. We gave each other this look of Just answer 'yes' so we can see what he honestly thinks about it. So of course we said we had heard of it. He went on to tell us how so many people will slag that place and the volunteers off, yet those are the same people who write off the young people in their communities. He spoke of how he appreciates the work being done with the young people up in the Kairos because he can see a difference within the youth of his community and he appreciates that someone is taking the time to pour into their lives rather than complain and sit idly back doing nothing.
Now back to feeling invisible. My hope, my prayer, my desire is that the young people that venture into the Kairos and into relationships with the volunteers are not only seen, but they know they are seen and not invisible, to us or God. We have had talks on Thursday nights on a regular basis this past year in hopes that this will arouse questions amongst the young people in their own lives and spiritual walks. We have been very open to tell them that why we're here is not because we want to be seen as "do gooders" in society, but because we want them to know the Creator of the universe who loved us enough to sacrifice His Son to redeem us back to Himself.
Please pray that the young people we encounter know they are loved by the King and His servants that volunteer at the Kairos. Pray God bring about opportunities in conversations to talk with them about Christ and give the volunteers wisdom and discernment when answering questions and knowing when to speak and when to stay silent and simply listen to the hearts of the young people.
This is a Mark Driscoll Sermon, but what I pray we grasp and that the young people come to understand is the last bit from 54:51-56:40. Please take the time to find that section of the sermon (of course listening to the whole thing is quite beneficial as well), but this brought me to my knees in tears and I pray it has the same impact on your heart as well. I feel that when we truly grasp this reality of Jesus, we won't be able to do anything but share it with the world.
Do you think Jesus knows what it's like?
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| Used in a talk with the young people Summer Fused 2011 |
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| Joanna speaking with the young people on a Thursday night |
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| The beauty of nature in Newcastle shouts His praise...it's breathtaking! |
This is a Mark Driscoll Sermon, but what I pray we grasp and that the young people come to understand is the last bit from 54:51-56:40. Please take the time to find that section of the sermon (of course listening to the whole thing is quite beneficial as well), but this brought me to my knees in tears and I pray it has the same impact on your heart as well. I feel that when we truly grasp this reality of Jesus, we won't be able to do anything but share it with the world.
Do you think Jesus knows what it's like?
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