Worship...Experience vs Response

As I am looking forward to heading home I am dreading leaving home at the same time.  I'm at the point where I'm ready to go see people but reluctant to leave those I love here.  Anyone who has been blessed with "a home away from home" can relate.  For those who don't, I'll just say it's a bittersweet time.

While reflecting over the year, conversations had, and memories made I couldn't help but evaluate my life and where God has brought me.  When this happens it also brings several other areas into focus.  For me, one of those has been worship and how to define it.  Conversations have been had about worship and as I have thought through what typically pops into my mind when it comes to worship, it's been ingrained in me to revert back to singing worship songs.  However, I have found that, for me, worship has nothing to do with me.  The only part that is about me is how I worship because it is different for each individual.  I have found worship to be a response to what God has been doing in my life, not a way to almost "get me in the mood" to glorify Christ.  I have a hard time understanding when people say, "I just wasn't feeling the worship today."  As if it's suppose to be about the person and their liking.  I feel it should be a culmination of response to what Christ has done throughout your week that you express collectively or privately.

For me, going for a run, dancing in the kitchen when no one is home, and singing and such with others, among other things, are ways that I worship.  But I can guarantee that's not the case for everyone.  And that makes complete sense because although we are all created in God's image, we have been made uniquely...."uniquely you" if you will.

During reflecting I have come to realize that many a time I find myself saying, "What I do is merely a response to what Christ first did for me."  And I do my best to live a life that reflects well on the God I serve.  With that in my mind I can't help, but look to the future as well. With leaving comes many meetings.  And meetings bring talk of the future.  I am excited to know that I will be coming back on a three year mission post with the Kairos Centre as the young women's ministry developer and youth volunteer coordinator.

For me, this is my worship as a lifestyle, specifically for the next three years.  Of course there are details within that, but there is comfort in knowing where God has placed me for the next wee while.  However, if I'm honest, I tend to question my abilities and fear failure, but I know this is satan elbowing me because God has placed people in my life to encourage me and I know that in our weakness He is strong and let's be honest, "He must increase, I must decrease."  The less I'm in the way, the more God can move in the lives of His creation.

Please continue praying for the ministry we are a part of in Newcastle and that we daily surrender ourselves, get out of His way, and watch God move in incredible ways.