Have you ever had such highs and lows in such a short span of time? This has recently been the case for us here in Newcastle. It's been an emotional couple weeks which began with a new sister in Christ while ending with tears of distress.
Please continue to pray for the Kingdom work we're blessed to be a part of here. God knows what He's doing and satan is trying to disarm us. God has won the war, He is victorious in the battle, yet satan tries time and time again to fight against is. satan obviously hasn't realized he's fighting a losing battle.
The victory is won. Christ has risen from the grave. The enemy has been defeated. Yet why do I feel so beaten?! I've found the more I get to know these young people whom God ceased in His image, the more I'm convinced this is where I'm meant to be, but my heart yearns for the softening of these young people's hearts to the Gospel, this good news we share, the reason we're here and our purpose for living, the grace and freedom that is found in Jesus.
As I finish rambling at 2:23 in the morning I can't help, but wonder, "what's next?". It's not something we think about all that often, yet it's the one guarantee in life: there's always something coming next.
What's next for you? Where's God taking you on your adventure together as you travel this journey? And after this time on earth, what's next for you? It's when we begin doing everything in light of eternity, our entire perspective changes. Those little things that use to tie us up don't seem to bother us anymore, that annoying person becomes a blessing of companionship, and those who are deemed "unlovable" become "irresistible" to your heart. When you think of what's next do you think in terms of yourself, those around you, or about eternity? Let me challenge you to look through an eternal lens at those around you and I guarantee you'll discover when you truly do that, God can't help but look after you.
You're a warrior for the King, believe that. Fight like a champion, take hits like a champion, because, with Christ, we are VICTORIOUS!!
Romans 12:12
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Tackling the Mountains of Life
Isn't that how life is though? It's not until you've risen above the trials in your life that you are able to see the beauty. We look back and the farther we move ahead the more beauty we take with us YET the more we also strive to KEEP pressing on. And also, the tough trials (that seem like mountains) become enjoyable and memorable and BEARABLE when you're not facing that journey alone.
Take time to reflect, acknowledging where you've been, enjoy and embrace where you are, and anticipate with excitement and wonder what is ahead of you.
And don't be afraid to go exploring on adventures every now and again :)
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Thoughts Amidst Fiesta Preparations
As I write this entry, I am surrounded by blaring music, the sound of a hair dryer, laughter, the smell of paint, and some amazing people of God. One of my favorite attributes of the Karios Centre (where I am an intern youth worker) is the commotion that tends to always be about. Right now a group of older teens and 20-somethings are preparing for their "Mexican Party" for the Fused program people from the churches in the area put on for the youth in the congregations. Every now and again they do a themed social (party) that include fun-filled activities, food, and music. The reason behind these parties? They are actually a fundraiser so the young people that come bring something+ £4. This year it is something for a shoe box+ £4.
It has been roughly a month since my last entry and I have some exciting news. WE HAVE A NEW SISTER IN CHRIST! One of the young people gave her life to Christ last Tuesday!!!!!!!! It was such an encouraging time for those of us volunteering at the Kairos Centre. Many times we don't necessarily see the fruit from our labor. It is said that some of us sow, others water, while others reap the harvest. The problem with this is that when you're constantly doing the sowing, but not as much a part of the watering, and rarely a part of the reaping of the harvest it can be difficult. But we had such a time of rejuvenation with welcoming another sister in Christ into the Kingdom family :)
Also, the last month or so we have been without our lead youth worker, Ben, because he was in America renewing his visa. It was a quick process and prayers were answered so much so that he is upon his return as I type this update. It has been a challenge without him because another leader, Adrian, and I have been taking his place and have carried more responsibility than we have had in the past. However, this has helped me personally to appreciate all that Ben does without us even realizing it so that activities run smoothly and leaders are well looked after. It has also helped many of the volunteers "step up their game" so to speak by having more responsibility with less hands in the service of loving the young people that come off the stairs to drop-in.
Yet ANOTHER praise is that our Tuesday night program that started out only having five attendees was up in the 20s last night. This is an encouragement because it is evidence of God working and people being drawn to His Love. On the other hand, it is a call to we as leaders to continually focus our hearts and minds on things above and continually having an eternal perspective on the work we're doing in the here and now. God is truly working within the community and the Church here in Newcastle.
This past Sunday evening, churches from all over Newcastle came together for what has come to be known as Fifth Sunday. The churches come together for a collective time of musical worship (led by people from all congregations), prayer, a message, and fellowship over tea, coffee, and buns. These services are a constant reminder of what Jesus prayed in John 17 of the unity of His followers. What emphasized this even deeper was the encouragement from the minister giving the message, who happened to be from America, that expressed his excitement to go back to his hometown in Florida and call up his Baptist minister friend and get together to start a Fifth Sunday service with all the churches in their town. This idea of unity is so appealing to people that they are beginning to grab a hold of it and make something of it, even across to the other side of the Atlantic.
I also felt it might be good for you as supporters to know what my timetable (schedule) on a weekly basis looks like:
Thank you for your continued prayer and support. My goal is to be more adamant when it comes to updating the blog for you guys for the whereabouts of the ministry here in Newcastle, Northern Ireland.
Romans 12:12
It has been roughly a month since my last entry and I have some exciting news. WE HAVE A NEW SISTER IN CHRIST! One of the young people gave her life to Christ last Tuesday!!!!!!!! It was such an encouraging time for those of us volunteering at the Kairos Centre. Many times we don't necessarily see the fruit from our labor. It is said that some of us sow, others water, while others reap the harvest. The problem with this is that when you're constantly doing the sowing, but not as much a part of the watering, and rarely a part of the reaping of the harvest it can be difficult. But we had such a time of rejuvenation with welcoming another sister in Christ into the Kingdom family :)
Also, the last month or so we have been without our lead youth worker, Ben, because he was in America renewing his visa. It was a quick process and prayers were answered so much so that he is upon his return as I type this update. It has been a challenge without him because another leader, Adrian, and I have been taking his place and have carried more responsibility than we have had in the past. However, this has helped me personally to appreciate all that Ben does without us even realizing it so that activities run smoothly and leaders are well looked after. It has also helped many of the volunteers "step up their game" so to speak by having more responsibility with less hands in the service of loving the young people that come off the stairs to drop-in.
Yet ANOTHER praise is that our Tuesday night program that started out only having five attendees was up in the 20s last night. This is an encouragement because it is evidence of God working and people being drawn to His Love. On the other hand, it is a call to we as leaders to continually focus our hearts and minds on things above and continually having an eternal perspective on the work we're doing in the here and now. God is truly working within the community and the Church here in Newcastle.
This past Sunday evening, churches from all over Newcastle came together for what has come to be known as Fifth Sunday. The churches come together for a collective time of musical worship (led by people from all congregations), prayer, a message, and fellowship over tea, coffee, and buns. These services are a constant reminder of what Jesus prayed in John 17 of the unity of His followers. What emphasized this even deeper was the encouragement from the minister giving the message, who happened to be from America, that expressed his excitement to go back to his hometown in Florida and call up his Baptist minister friend and get together to start a Fifth Sunday service with all the churches in their town. This idea of unity is so appealing to people that they are beginning to grab a hold of it and make something of it, even across to the other side of the Atlantic.
I also felt it might be good for you as supporters to know what my timetable (schedule) on a weekly basis looks like:
Thank you for your continued prayer and support. My goal is to be more adamant when it comes to updating the blog for you guys for the whereabouts of the ministry here in Newcastle, Northern Ireland.
Romans 12:12
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I'm Just One Beggar Showing Another Beggar Where To Find Bread
It's been a while since i've let you know what i've been up to and that is mostly because it's been kind of hectic over here. In a totally good way. As the school year has gotten underway, so has the outreach to the community at the Kairos Centre. Of course, what comes with that is less time to update the blog and more opportunities to share the love of Christ.
One of things this last month has really taught me is that ministry and outreach into the community is a place where much is put into it without much "instant gratification." This can make persevering very difficult in the sense that we almost feel like what we're doing is not really making a difference. However, it is often the little things that make all the difference. Recently, the other intern and i were talking with some of the girls we spend time with and one of them i was talking with about having to talk in front of people and how i still get nervous because we had to give a presentation in front of people that might possibly fund the girls' outreach. When i told her that we were needing funding her automatic reaction was not one of expectancy as much as of desire; a desire to help. She started giving ideas of fundraisers we could do because the way she sees it, if the money is being raised for them, they should take part in raising it. It may be something that some find a natural reaction, but from these girls, it's a step forward in the direction of a brighter future because they see there are benefits to working towards a goal.
Something i have been struggling with is having spiritual conversations with the young ladies at drop-in. Although i have been having deeper, more personal conversations with them about struggles they face in life, i have yet to have a door open where, once i take a step into a spiritual conversation, they slam the door on my toe. Thankfully, there are several people within the ministry who have been there for some time, some with as much as a decade of experience, who continually encourage me and remind me that the young people we work with have been let down time and time again not only by those older than them, but especially the church. Therefore, they will be reserved and hold back with me, but, given time and exposure to me, they will begin to open up, barriers will diminish, and spiritual conversations will occur. Time is of the essence because, as i was once told while here the first time, "i'm just one beggar showing another beggar where to find bread." We're not perfect, those of us serving in this ministry, but we have a perfect savior, and that gives us a relationship with the God who not only created us, but the entire world we know and live in, as well as that which our finite minds have yet to discover. Our hope is to show those we come in contact with the blessings of being in relationship, in hopes that they will choose Christ as well. With Him there are no limits.
This morning, at our weekly prayer meeting, one of the leaders shared with us about Jeremiah 4:3b, "'Break up your fallow ground, and sow not among thorns.'" When he shared this with us, he talked about how the Bible also speaks of preparing the land. We have all been given our allotment of "land" so to speak. For those of us here in Northern Ireland, it is Newcastle, more specifically for me, the young people's hearts, young ladies especially.
God is love. Love is the only agenda. The difficulty with this is that love is often "tough love" because it can sometimes be painful and uncomfortable. You see, today's youth believe that to love is to accept at face value who they are and not desiring to see them change. The problem is, to truly love someone is to accept them where they are, but not accept that that is all they'll ever be. It's being able to see beyond who they are now to who they are capable of being and helping them through that transformation. To love someone isn't to accept them and that be the end of it. True love desires to see a person become the best them that they can be and helps them to do so. Jesus accepted people where they were, met them where they were at. But He never left them the same, they were changed, for good, because Love had entered in.
Let me ask you this, when you enter someones life is Love entering their lives or just another person pointing out their flaws they are already so highly aware of? Love is not just a word, but, more importantly, an action. A life were living is only worth living if we're loving those we encounter.
One of things this last month has really taught me is that ministry and outreach into the community is a place where much is put into it without much "instant gratification." This can make persevering very difficult in the sense that we almost feel like what we're doing is not really making a difference. However, it is often the little things that make all the difference. Recently, the other intern and i were talking with some of the girls we spend time with and one of them i was talking with about having to talk in front of people and how i still get nervous because we had to give a presentation in front of people that might possibly fund the girls' outreach. When i told her that we were needing funding her automatic reaction was not one of expectancy as much as of desire; a desire to help. She started giving ideas of fundraisers we could do because the way she sees it, if the money is being raised for them, they should take part in raising it. It may be something that some find a natural reaction, but from these girls, it's a step forward in the direction of a brighter future because they see there are benefits to working towards a goal.
Something i have been struggling with is having spiritual conversations with the young ladies at drop-in. Although i have been having deeper, more personal conversations with them about struggles they face in life, i have yet to have a door open where, once i take a step into a spiritual conversation, they slam the door on my toe. Thankfully, there are several people within the ministry who have been there for some time, some with as much as a decade of experience, who continually encourage me and remind me that the young people we work with have been let down time and time again not only by those older than them, but especially the church. Therefore, they will be reserved and hold back with me, but, given time and exposure to me, they will begin to open up, barriers will diminish, and spiritual conversations will occur. Time is of the essence because, as i was once told while here the first time, "i'm just one beggar showing another beggar where to find bread." We're not perfect, those of us serving in this ministry, but we have a perfect savior, and that gives us a relationship with the God who not only created us, but the entire world we know and live in, as well as that which our finite minds have yet to discover. Our hope is to show those we come in contact with the blessings of being in relationship, in hopes that they will choose Christ as well. With Him there are no limits.
This morning, at our weekly prayer meeting, one of the leaders shared with us about Jeremiah 4:3b, "'Break up your fallow ground, and sow not among thorns.'" When he shared this with us, he talked about how the Bible also speaks of preparing the land. We have all been given our allotment of "land" so to speak. For those of us here in Northern Ireland, it is Newcastle, more specifically for me, the young people's hearts, young ladies especially.
God is love. Love is the only agenda. The difficulty with this is that love is often "tough love" because it can sometimes be painful and uncomfortable. You see, today's youth believe that to love is to accept at face value who they are and not desiring to see them change. The problem is, to truly love someone is to accept them where they are, but not accept that that is all they'll ever be. It's being able to see beyond who they are now to who they are capable of being and helping them through that transformation. To love someone isn't to accept them and that be the end of it. True love desires to see a person become the best them that they can be and helps them to do so. Jesus accepted people where they were, met them where they were at. But He never left them the same, they were changed, for good, because Love had entered in.
Let me ask you this, when you enter someones life is Love entering their lives or just another person pointing out their flaws they are already so highly aware of? Love is not just a word, but, more importantly, an action. A life were living is only worth living if we're loving those we encounter.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Bring On the Rain
"Bring On The Rain"As I was writing a letter to God (if you haven't noticed i enjoy writing), this song came on my iTunes which was interesting for two reasons. First off, it's lashing outside right now, but i'm in the conservatory, which is basically a room made up completely of windows (even the ceiling/roof of the room). Secondly, sometimes the weight of reality hits me and i start to hyperventilate (even if it's just in my mind lol). i have to admit, i see myself as quite ordinary, but i realize my circumstances are anything but that. i am recently graduated from university, doing mission work in a country 3,000 miles away from those i've grown to know and love deeply over quite a bit of time, i'm living on faith and the support (financially and spiritually) of loved ones, and the person who began encouraging me to do this type of work with my life in the first place (my mum) died a mere two and a half years after i decided to do ministry. Funny how friends back home have always kept my mum in my life by mentioning little things like "when it's raining that's your mum, proud, wishing she could be there walking beside you" or "find the brightest star. Yeop, there's your mum smiling down on us." Now i know these things are not true, simply a comfort to the heart, but i find it no coincident, God knew what He was doing, when He brought me to Northern Ireland where rain is the season...every season and the stars shine bright with the absence of "city lights" like i'm use to back in the States. i love that through nature God continually reminds me of His love for me and the fact that i'm not alone. And because of that, this song encourages me to stay strong, keep truckin', and know that tomorrow's another day. Glorify Him by the blessing of another day :)
(feat. Tim McGraw)
Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war ('cause)
[Chorus:]
Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
It's almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
And I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead, no ('cause)
[Chorus]
I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight ('cause)
Tomorrow's another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain
[Chorus]
Bring on the rain; bring on the rain
Bring on the rain
Bring on, bring on, the rain
Sunday, September 4, 2011
(what if you're) The One.
After the evening service today, as I was riding in the car with some of the young people, a song came on by Brandon Heath called "The One" that really grabbed my attention. Because of this i wanted to give a few of the thoughts that ran through my head as i delved over the lyrics later after our car ride...
How many times have we each known someone to be at a conference, heard a compelling sermon/talk, or talked about "what if" circumstances only to let that enthusiasm fizzle out, let that dream slip through their fingers because of a few struggles in the planning process? Personally i see this happen too many times. But i feel that if we truly grasp what God is capable of and simply become vessels for Him to use there would be no other reaction than lights shining uncontrollably, dreams would come under His authority and flourish, and faiths would be sprouting insanely because of the lights shining so bright and the dreams becoming reality and doing what they were meant to do, bring glory to God.
The kind of series the church is doing on Sunday evenings is opening our eyes to the truth of God being a hands-on God and how His people (from the congregation) are being hands-on Christians; how they are being God's hands literally all over the world. Last week my friends Alisdair and Jane talked about an organization in Uganda that they helped with called New Beginnings, which was started by a man in a nearby town, actually. It is an orphanage where they not only come to do physical labor, but also to teach the children and show them love and care through songs, lessons, and activities. This week, there was a group that went to Spain to do physical labor and build relationships with the young people in the area as well as my friend Catrina who went to Uganda (separate from the previous group) to do work as a physio with children who are dealing with different ailments. This section of the song reminds me of the struggles and difficulties people have around the world. Because i have a westernized mindset i have to admit i can forget about "others" and focus on myself and only those with whom i'm in constant contact, but it becomes comfortable. This life isn't meant for us to get comfortable because we're only passing through. The way i see it, we should really make a dent in the world rather than brushing it off that those around the world are struggling and it's not my struggle as well. Let's get comfortable with being uncomfortable, touch the lives of those around you that are seen as "untouchables". What a place this world would be if we looked out for those who struggle to look out for themselves.
"If I see one more light that's fading, Hear about one more broken dream, Pray for just one more faith that's dying, It's one too many"
How many times have we each known someone to be at a conference, heard a compelling sermon/talk, or talked about "what if" circumstances only to let that enthusiasm fizzle out, let that dream slip through their fingers because of a few struggles in the planning process? Personally i see this happen too many times. But i feel that if we truly grasp what God is capable of and simply become vessels for Him to use there would be no other reaction than lights shining uncontrollably, dreams would come under His authority and flourish, and faiths would be sprouting insanely because of the lights shining so bright and the dreams becoming reality and doing what they were meant to do, bring glory to God.
"And if I see one more child walking, Just one more mile for water, If I wait one more minute longer, It's one too many"
The kind of series the church is doing on Sunday evenings is opening our eyes to the truth of God being a hands-on God and how His people (from the congregation) are being hands-on Christians; how they are being God's hands literally all over the world. Last week my friends Alisdair and Jane talked about an organization in Uganda that they helped with called New Beginnings, which was started by a man in a nearby town, actually. It is an orphanage where they not only come to do physical labor, but also to teach the children and show them love and care through songs, lessons, and activities. This week, there was a group that went to Spain to do physical labor and build relationships with the young people in the area as well as my friend Catrina who went to Uganda (separate from the previous group) to do work as a physio with children who are dealing with different ailments. This section of the song reminds me of the struggles and difficulties people have around the world. Because i have a westernized mindset i have to admit i can forget about "others" and focus on myself and only those with whom i'm in constant contact, but it becomes comfortable. This life isn't meant for us to get comfortable because we're only passing through. The way i see it, we should really make a dent in the world rather than brushing it off that those around the world are struggling and it's not my struggle as well. Let's get comfortable with being uncomfortable, touch the lives of those around you that are seen as "untouchables". What a place this world would be if we looked out for those who struggle to look out for themselves.
"When I think of what could be, If we let our hearts believe, That it takes just one, Just one could turn this all around"i'm not saying by any means that i am turning this world around, not on my own that's for sure, but with His Holy Spirit in me He definitely can do work. But i pray that God use me among other "ones" to turn this world around because when they turn, they'll come face to face with a God who loves them, has His arms open wide, waiting for His children to come running back to Him after falling astray. Being in Northern Ireland, people back home find it an odd place to do mission work, but the way i see it, where our feet tread, whether here or "home" there lies our mission field, our battlefield. The best part about this battle is that we know the outcome, we know we have the victory, but bringing others into that victory, that is my desire and my hope for my life and other Christ followers. These lyrics remind me to Dream Big because God's Bigger!
"And if we're living history, How will they think of you and me, If it takes just one, just one, What if, what if, what if I'm the one? It takes one, takes one, one, It takes one, takes one, one, It takes one, takes one"Take a self inventory on your life (as i have been doing recently). Thinking on my thoughts and actions, heart and how i've been conducting myself. What we do today will be in history. Maybe not in the history books, but it's going to be in the past, something of yester-years. The only thing here that i challenge you to do is expand on it and ask not only how people will think of you, but how, because of you, they will look at your Christ. Are you even doing anything for them to think about Christ and how, if at all, He should impact their lives? We may only have one life, we may only live for yet a brief moment in history, but many who impact the world die young, but it can be said by most for many like that that while they lived, they sure did live and they usually lived for more than themselves. This world would look completely different if we could look beyond ourselves and our own "needs". What if, for that person who serves you and knows your order by heart, you could be the one to introduce them to Healing, Hope, Love...God?
"If I hear one more widow crying, 'Cause there's no one by her side, And if I see one more family breaking, It's one too many"The heartbreak of these lyrics is all too true no matter where a person is in the world. Widows are left alone with the pieces of their lives shattered around them. Families are torn with no hopes of being restored. Has Christ not called us to be His hands and feet, helpers to those in need, a comforter to those with heartache. God's heart breaks along with us in our pain, so shouldn't our hearts break when those around us experience heartache and turmoil?
"If there's one thing that I'm sure of, If there's one thing that I know, You could be one in a sea of faces, Or you could be one more chance for hope"Ask yourself, are you one in a sea of faces or one more chance for hope? God can use you, never doubt that, but you've gotta be willing. God's got a game plan, but it's one thing to watch on the sidelines and cheer, it's completely different to be on the front lines. Are you on the bench or the front lines?
"I see a nation without any walls, A beautiful haven for one and for all, I see a day when people are free, When shackles are broken and fall to the street, A voice, a cry, call out from on high, The first one of many, go lay down your life."This is a beautiful depiction, let's make this a reality. Be the one. It can all start with you and end with many shining in His glory because you chose to see that which is greater as worth more than living for self.
"It takes one, takes one, one, (What if you're the one)...
Friday, September 2, 2011
Tell Them. Tell Them Now.
Have you ever been talking with someone and given them a compliment, some words of encouragement, or simply acknowledged and affirmed what others have told you about that person only to find the recipient blush, deny your accusations (though positive they are), or exclaim that no one has ever told them that so it must not be true? This recently happened to me with one of my friends and it got me to thinking: how many times have i noticed something about someone (positive) yet kept silent, refrained from stating out loud to that person just what i had come across? Sadly, i feel that more often than not i keep these positive little nuggets to myself, but oh how quick i am to spout off about someone's downfalls! Blast, if only i could take James' words to heart and tame my tongue! Now i'm not saying if i see something in a person's life that defiles them i am going to simply stay silent, but should i not also be intentional about acting out 1 Thessalonians 5:11, "Continue to encourage each other and build each other up just as you are doing now."
You see, life is short. And for this very reason we must proclaim the good we see in each other to each other. For if we don't, who will? The way i see it, we as Christians know we are not good in and of ourselves, but because of the Holy Spirit. This being said and acknowledged, we also forget that the Holy Spirit empowers us to be more than we could be on our own, and therefore shine God's light into this dark world. But because we are aware of the darkness of our hearts, we can forget about the Light that has been placed in us. This is where we, as brothers and sisters in Christ, need to acknowledge that Light when we see it. As we go about living life together we need to show each other the beauty we see in each other's actions, lifestyles, attitudes, and hearts. Maybe we wouldn't feel so awkward about compliments if they weren't so foreign in our day-to-day lives.
I am currently reading through a book Elisabeth Elliot wrote on her personal perceptions of her life called All That Was Ever Ours. There is a chapter titled: Truth Telling and at one point it speaks of the saying: "the truth often hurts." "But there is a truth that does not hurt--truth which encourages and surprises with delight and gratitude." She writes on about examples of people who probably aren't acknowledged for their breakthroughs with students, physical beauty never mentioned, and personal circumstances Mrs. Elliot has experienced. What was most compelling to me, so much so that i put down the book and ran upstairs to get my computer to write this post, was the last two sentences that simply read, "Tell them. Tell them now."
We often times proclaim we should "tell it like it is," but how many actually do that in an encouraging nature? To be honest when that is said i think of being harsh or saying what everyone is thinking, but too afraid to say. What if "telling it like it is" were something we did as a source of encouragement. Calling people out on the good we see in them in hopes that one day their eyes will be opened to it as well. Imagine what the world would see if we, as the Church, became fervent about encouraging each other, building each other up, and vocalizing the Light we see in one another. i would like to think that those in our day-to-day lives would see a difference in us, begin to wonder just what that difference was, be compelled to ask us, bringing about one of those "when will He" moments (<--that's a reference to a previous blog...feel free to look to previous posts to get the drift of that one).
If you see the Light in someone, if you catch them doing good: Tell them. Tell them now. And watch them squirm because, let's be honest, it's something we as a generation are not use to. Let's get each other use to it!
You see, life is short. And for this very reason we must proclaim the good we see in each other to each other. For if we don't, who will? The way i see it, we as Christians know we are not good in and of ourselves, but because of the Holy Spirit. This being said and acknowledged, we also forget that the Holy Spirit empowers us to be more than we could be on our own, and therefore shine God's light into this dark world. But because we are aware of the darkness of our hearts, we can forget about the Light that has been placed in us. This is where we, as brothers and sisters in Christ, need to acknowledge that Light when we see it. As we go about living life together we need to show each other the beauty we see in each other's actions, lifestyles, attitudes, and hearts. Maybe we wouldn't feel so awkward about compliments if they weren't so foreign in our day-to-day lives.
I am currently reading through a book Elisabeth Elliot wrote on her personal perceptions of her life called All That Was Ever Ours. There is a chapter titled: Truth Telling and at one point it speaks of the saying: "the truth often hurts." "But there is a truth that does not hurt--truth which encourages and surprises with delight and gratitude." She writes on about examples of people who probably aren't acknowledged for their breakthroughs with students, physical beauty never mentioned, and personal circumstances Mrs. Elliot has experienced. What was most compelling to me, so much so that i put down the book and ran upstairs to get my computer to write this post, was the last two sentences that simply read, "Tell them. Tell them now."
We often times proclaim we should "tell it like it is," but how many actually do that in an encouraging nature? To be honest when that is said i think of being harsh or saying what everyone is thinking, but too afraid to say. What if "telling it like it is" were something we did as a source of encouragement. Calling people out on the good we see in them in hopes that one day their eyes will be opened to it as well. Imagine what the world would see if we, as the Church, became fervent about encouraging each other, building each other up, and vocalizing the Light we see in one another. i would like to think that those in our day-to-day lives would see a difference in us, begin to wonder just what that difference was, be compelled to ask us, bringing about one of those "when will He" moments (<--that's a reference to a previous blog...feel free to look to previous posts to get the drift of that one).
If you see the Light in someone, if you catch them doing good: Tell them. Tell them now. And watch them squirm because, let's be honest, it's something we as a generation are not use to. Let's get each other use to it!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
The Power of Prayer
Every Tuesday at 10am there is a group of people from churches and organizations in the Newcastle area that come together to lift up prayers to the One who can answer them all and then some. As an intern at the Kairos Centre, where the prayer meeting is held, it is required of me to attend. However, after going to one, people would never want to miss this time of encouragement, refocusing, and community building. For this reason i do not say it is "required" of me, but rather than i have the gift of being a part of this community group.
If i can be transparent with you, i will tell you that prayer has never been one of my strong spiritual disciplines; something i have always struggled with, but desired to make more a part of my daily life. During Summer Fused: Drop-in 2011 i, along with my team members, prayed more than i have ever prayed in my life, and with an honest heart believing God would answer in 1 of 3 ways: yes, no, or wait. An incredible situation occurred. Everything we had prayed God would do and provide during our two weeks was answered with a very definite "yes," and even then some. We asked at the beginning for there to be a fair amount of young ladies, we had 3/4 of the Drop-in attendance be young ladies. Then in the second week that number was increased even more. We asked that God prepare the young people coming to the program to have open hearts and willing ears to listen to our talks about the Gospel and what Christ has done for us. They not only listened, but interacted in deep spiritual discussions and even began asking questions. My favorite part was that they allowed us to pray for them, interceding on their behalf to the Almighty. It's amazing what God will do if we just let Him!
Recently while i was at a Tuesday morning prayer meeting, i brought one of the young ladies who volunteers with the drop-in with me to the meeting. She was quite nervous and afraid of whether or not it would be ok for her to join. i reassured her that it's an open prayer meeting for young and old, new or long-time followers of Christ, who want to unite together to talk about the ministries in the area, lift broken hearts for the brokenhearted of the community. When she finally came along she was one of the most encouraging to me of all because she prayed for me specifically, by name, and for things i had asked prayer for during the meeting. i want to encourage everyone that if you have the urge to pray for someone, out loud, with them in your presence, DO IT. Her prayer was so powerful to me it nearly brought me to tears. It wasn't so much the words she was saying, but thinking that someone was using what i believe to be one of our most powerful tools as the body of Christ to intercede for me. i have come to two conclusions: 1. prayer is powerful and impactful when done for others and out loud in their presence and 2. it is hard to feel disdain for someone for which you pray. i know some of things i've struggled with most are that which friends have prayed for and with me about in the past and it has truly made all the difference.
James 5:16 proclaims:
If i can be transparent with you, i will tell you that prayer has never been one of my strong spiritual disciplines; something i have always struggled with, but desired to make more a part of my daily life. During Summer Fused: Drop-in 2011 i, along with my team members, prayed more than i have ever prayed in my life, and with an honest heart believing God would answer in 1 of 3 ways: yes, no, or wait. An incredible situation occurred. Everything we had prayed God would do and provide during our two weeks was answered with a very definite "yes," and even then some. We asked at the beginning for there to be a fair amount of young ladies, we had 3/4 of the Drop-in attendance be young ladies. Then in the second week that number was increased even more. We asked that God prepare the young people coming to the program to have open hearts and willing ears to listen to our talks about the Gospel and what Christ has done for us. They not only listened, but interacted in deep spiritual discussions and even began asking questions. My favorite part was that they allowed us to pray for them, interceding on their behalf to the Almighty. It's amazing what God will do if we just let Him!
Recently while i was at a Tuesday morning prayer meeting, i brought one of the young ladies who volunteers with the drop-in with me to the meeting. She was quite nervous and afraid of whether or not it would be ok for her to join. i reassured her that it's an open prayer meeting for young and old, new or long-time followers of Christ, who want to unite together to talk about the ministries in the area, lift broken hearts for the brokenhearted of the community. When she finally came along she was one of the most encouraging to me of all because she prayed for me specifically, by name, and for things i had asked prayer for during the meeting. i want to encourage everyone that if you have the urge to pray for someone, out loud, with them in your presence, DO IT. Her prayer was so powerful to me it nearly brought me to tears. It wasn't so much the words she was saying, but thinking that someone was using what i believe to be one of our most powerful tools as the body of Christ to intercede for me. i have come to two conclusions: 1. prayer is powerful and impactful when done for others and out loud in their presence and 2. it is hard to feel disdain for someone for which you pray. i know some of things i've struggled with most are that which friends have prayed for and with me about in the past and it has truly made all the difference.
James 5:16 proclaims:
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.i have seen this ring true in my own life, my prayer is that you venture to experience it as well. Take time today, whether right now or when you are able to simply get away from the hustle and bustle of your day and pray with God. The Hebrew language, with the use of the word prayer, literally meant a back adn forth, give and take, talk and listen. Talk to God, but also listen to what the Father is telling you. He may speak to you through a person, His Word, or Himself. He may reveal Himself and His will to you through a circumstance or by another means, but He will speak to you, He longs to hear His child'ss voice, just as a father with his son or daughter here on earth. They may know you need or want something or that you are having a difficult time with a situation, but there is something deeply moving in a parent when a child comes, clinging to their parent and pouring their heart out to them. We are His most prized possession, don't you think He'd like to talk with us about our lives, our struggles, and our joys? Talk with the Father, He's always there, always listening, always willing.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Dream Big, God's Bigger
Oh my goodness!!! Ok, so it's going to be really hard to describe and insert everything from the past fortnight (2 weeks for you non-Irish readers) :) I'm gonna do my best to explain the summer programme we did as best as possible.
Well, I guess it's not so much describing the programme as it is cramming all that God did and how He moved into one post. He is truly moving here in Newcastle and I honestly believe this is just the beginning. As a fellow person in ministry said, Summer Fused 2011 is a springboard for this coming year of ministry and we need to be asking ourselves, "What's next?"
These past 2 weeks we did a programme for the youth of the area around Newcastle. There were 50 leaders (mostly Irish with some Americans sprinkled in) that lead 5 different groups of what would be equivalent to a 2 week VBS or church camp kind of atmosphere. We ran two sessions a day with each session running two hours each so we were with the kids for four hours a day Monday through Friday for a total of 40 hours. Now seeing that in a two week span there are 336 hours and most of the young people spent 296 hours somewhere else other than in the programme you may think it didn't really have that much of an impact. But you'd be wrong! :) You see, we had 300 young people registered, over 33 Bibles distributed to those who didn't have one and wanted to get into the Word, and about a dozen young people between the ages of 4-18 giving their lives to Christ.
Never underestimate what God will do with your time, talents, and programmes if you simply surrender them into His hands.
That's the amazing thing about God. It doesn't matter how much or little we plan, whether we know exactly where we're going or stepping out on faith, whether we have millions or barely 2 coins to rub together; if we surrender it to Him, trust Him, and accept the fact that His will is better than anything we could imagine, He will do amazing things. We don't need to be able, but rather available.
Over the last 2 weeks God has been refocusing my attention from the question of "How will I?" to "When will He?" You see, when I was here last I was talking with the guy who I'm serving under and he explained to me that there were 2 sets of young people coming through the Kairos. There's the ones who were in one room (talking through issues/questions of faith and what it looks like to follow Christ) and the other room (where the girls were concerned with boys, hairstyles, make-up, clothing, drink, and drugs). He wanted to make it clear that I would be coming back to work with the young ladies in "the other room". I would be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated one bit, however. You see, these young people are rough, come from a completely different background as I did, and aren't afraid to push you to your limit just because they can. This left me pondering the question, "How will I?"
However, the last week of the programme 2 young ladies were back from holiday and were coming to join us. And they just happen to be put in my small group during discussion time after the talk that day. Funny thing is one of them was very boisterous in the fact that she would not talk at all during small group time while the other one was trying to yell over her to tell her to shut up because it would only be 15 minutes and she could suck it up. (I'm trying to give you an idea of why I was so intimidated). What followed was anything, but what I expected going into our small group time. Both girls began asking questions (even the one who said she wouldn't say a word. And they weren't just silly questions to get us off topic, they were genuine questions of curiosity and confusion. Though it may not have been the smoothest ride, God was breaking through to these young ladies, even if just in the sense that they were opening up and asking honest questions where they had doubt or uncertainty.
But it gets even better. You see, afterwards I came out glowing and smiling ear-to-ear. I began telling Ben (the guy I had the talk with earlier on in the year) about how they were engaging in the small group time, asking questions, and being open. It was then that he asked me if I remembered the talk we had a few months prior. I said yea, about the young people I would be coming back to work with. He pointed at the young ladies and said, "They were the girls in 'the other room'." That was when God opened my eyes to the realization that it's not about my abilities and how I will do something, but rather about when God deems appropriate and I simply have to be willing to be a vessel.
God knows what He's doing. Sometimes I forget that, as I'm sure, if you're honest with yourself, so do you. But the best part is, God can handle that and still work despite our forgetfulness, our doubts, our imperfections. In fact, sometimes that's when He works best, when we come to the realization of how small we are and it's then that He is able to work in big ways, because we finally step out of the way because we realize it's not by anything we do, but what God does through us.
God is moving in Newcastle and in the hearts of its young people. The leaders, we're dreaming big and remembering GOD'S BIGGER.
Well, I guess it's not so much describing the programme as it is cramming all that God did and how He moved into one post. He is truly moving here in Newcastle and I honestly believe this is just the beginning. As a fellow person in ministry said, Summer Fused 2011 is a springboard for this coming year of ministry and we need to be asking ourselves, "What's next?"
These past 2 weeks we did a programme for the youth of the area around Newcastle. There were 50 leaders (mostly Irish with some Americans sprinkled in) that lead 5 different groups of what would be equivalent to a 2 week VBS or church camp kind of atmosphere. We ran two sessions a day with each session running two hours each so we were with the kids for four hours a day Monday through Friday for a total of 40 hours. Now seeing that in a two week span there are 336 hours and most of the young people spent 296 hours somewhere else other than in the programme you may think it didn't really have that much of an impact. But you'd be wrong! :) You see, we had 300 young people registered, over 33 Bibles distributed to those who didn't have one and wanted to get into the Word, and about a dozen young people between the ages of 4-18 giving their lives to Christ.
Never underestimate what God will do with your time, talents, and programmes if you simply surrender them into His hands.
That's the amazing thing about God. It doesn't matter how much or little we plan, whether we know exactly where we're going or stepping out on faith, whether we have millions or barely 2 coins to rub together; if we surrender it to Him, trust Him, and accept the fact that His will is better than anything we could imagine, He will do amazing things. We don't need to be able, but rather available.
Over the last 2 weeks God has been refocusing my attention from the question of "How will I?" to "When will He?" You see, when I was here last I was talking with the guy who I'm serving under and he explained to me that there were 2 sets of young people coming through the Kairos. There's the ones who were in one room (talking through issues/questions of faith and what it looks like to follow Christ) and the other room (where the girls were concerned with boys, hairstyles, make-up, clothing, drink, and drugs). He wanted to make it clear that I would be coming back to work with the young ladies in "the other room". I would be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated one bit, however. You see, these young people are rough, come from a completely different background as I did, and aren't afraid to push you to your limit just because they can. This left me pondering the question, "How will I?"
However, the last week of the programme 2 young ladies were back from holiday and were coming to join us. And they just happen to be put in my small group during discussion time after the talk that day. Funny thing is one of them was very boisterous in the fact that she would not talk at all during small group time while the other one was trying to yell over her to tell her to shut up because it would only be 15 minutes and she could suck it up. (I'm trying to give you an idea of why I was so intimidated). What followed was anything, but what I expected going into our small group time. Both girls began asking questions (even the one who said she wouldn't say a word. And they weren't just silly questions to get us off topic, they were genuine questions of curiosity and confusion. Though it may not have been the smoothest ride, God was breaking through to these young ladies, even if just in the sense that they were opening up and asking honest questions where they had doubt or uncertainty.
But it gets even better. You see, afterwards I came out glowing and smiling ear-to-ear. I began telling Ben (the guy I had the talk with earlier on in the year) about how they were engaging in the small group time, asking questions, and being open. It was then that he asked me if I remembered the talk we had a few months prior. I said yea, about the young people I would be coming back to work with. He pointed at the young ladies and said, "They were the girls in 'the other room'." That was when God opened my eyes to the realization that it's not about my abilities and how I will do something, but rather about when God deems appropriate and I simply have to be willing to be a vessel.
God knows what He's doing. Sometimes I forget that, as I'm sure, if you're honest with yourself, so do you. But the best part is, God can handle that and still work despite our forgetfulness, our doubts, our imperfections. In fact, sometimes that's when He works best, when we come to the realization of how small we are and it's then that He is able to work in big ways, because we finally step out of the way because we realize it's not by anything we do, but what God does through us.
God is moving in Newcastle and in the hearts of its young people. The leaders, we're dreaming big and remembering GOD'S BIGGER.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Smiley Kylie Sleepy Sloopy
I'M BACK!!! It has been quite a day with planes, no trains, and automobiles. And i must say, it feels good to be home (or my home away from home...away from home lol). Today has been full of exhaustion, excitement, warm welcomings, and new beginnings. i'm so excited to see what God has in store for this coming year and if i had any reservations about coming, they're long gone now. i am currently looking out over the town as night is starting to set in and can see the Mourne Mountains cascading down into the Irish Sea. The beauty here is astounding and the people a true image of Christ and what it means to be His hands and feet.
So many emotions are going on in me at the moment it's hard to really put into words how i'm feeling (or maybe that's the few cups of tea i've had lol) either way, i am so glad to be back and ready for this new adventure! Right now i'm a little on the tired side (refer to the aforementioned exhaustion) so within the next several days i'll be giving more of an update, but i wanted y'all to know I MADE IT! and i'm completely stoked about God's plans for the ministry and how He will use this broken, but available vessel in those plans :)
CHEERS!
in Christ alone
So many emotions are going on in me at the moment it's hard to really put into words how i'm feeling (or maybe that's the few cups of tea i've had lol) either way, i am so glad to be back and ready for this new adventure! Right now i'm a little on the tired side (refer to the aforementioned exhaustion) so within the next several days i'll be giving more of an update, but i wanted y'all to know I MADE IT! and i'm completely stoked about God's plans for the ministry and how He will use this broken, but available vessel in those plans :)
CHEERS!
in Christ alone
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Fireflies
Well, y'all will be happy to know that i write to you from the Atlanta airport waiting at the gate to fly over the pond into Ireland. i'll arrive in Dublin at 10:30am their time! WOOT WOOT! Now, as emotions are going crazy for me right now i am going from extremely excited to see how God will use me in this coming year as well as getting to see some familiar faces, but at the same time i'm saddened to think that i am leaving behind (if only for a time) those who helped me get to where i am today and knowing that my grandpa fell out of his bed yesterday and broke his hip. it breaks my heart to think i may not get to talk to him again. With all of these and several other emotions and situations flowing through my mind like crazy i thought i'd hone in on one particular thought that came about last night. Just a thought, nothing really deep or anything.
So, last night my sister and i met some of my friends at the county fair. Let me tell you, it was pretty nostalgic, however, that is not what i'm going to be sharing with you, that was just an extra tid bit :) ANYWHO! On the way my sister was saddened by a few things and her head was down. i, however, looked to her, but since i was driving i couldn't continue to look at her. As i was scanning the road and shoulder (good thing i did too because there was a deer right on the shoulder that thankfully didn't run out in front of the car!) but what i saw in the dark fields made me stop (figuratively) for the first time in a long time and marvel at God's creation, taking in who He truly is. It may not sound like anything special to you, but ask my sister, it was pretty sweet!
As i looked all around in the fields (which i have driven passed/through multiple times) fireflies seemed to be doing a little number. It was an incredible sight. With the windows down and the radio up (blaring country music of course) it was like in the midst of the darkness, they were dancing to God's song. Now i know the reason they light up and all that, but work with me here. It's 10pm, imagine the country smells (the good ones, not manure lol), wind circling around you, and as you gaze beyond into the fields it's like a recital has begun all for an audience of One, but we get to be spectators too. i couldn't help but shout to Kim over the blaring radio and wind ripping through the car, and as she lifted her eyes the tears were replaced with a smile all her own.
We live in a dark world, but there are beacons shining there lights, the Light. Our eyes are drawn to the light (why do you think Vegas is so bright?<--different kind of light, but you get what i'm saying). In the midst of pain and darkness, though, we need to learn to dance and share with others the excitement of what Christ has done, how that affects what we're doing now, and how that will impact the future, for eternity! i'm not saying life is always peachy because it's not, but if you don't look up, you may just miss the dance.
i'm reminded of a song by some talented men named Shane & Shane who sing of the Truth and this is what they have to say:
Next time i post, i'll be in NORTHERN IRELAND! WOOT WOOT!!!!!!
So, last night my sister and i met some of my friends at the county fair. Let me tell you, it was pretty nostalgic, however, that is not what i'm going to be sharing with you, that was just an extra tid bit :) ANYWHO! On the way my sister was saddened by a few things and her head was down. i, however, looked to her, but since i was driving i couldn't continue to look at her. As i was scanning the road and shoulder (good thing i did too because there was a deer right on the shoulder that thankfully didn't run out in front of the car!) but what i saw in the dark fields made me stop (figuratively) for the first time in a long time and marvel at God's creation, taking in who He truly is. It may not sound like anything special to you, but ask my sister, it was pretty sweet!
As i looked all around in the fields (which i have driven passed/through multiple times) fireflies seemed to be doing a little number. It was an incredible sight. With the windows down and the radio up (blaring country music of course) it was like in the midst of the darkness, they were dancing to God's song. Now i know the reason they light up and all that, but work with me here. It's 10pm, imagine the country smells (the good ones, not manure lol), wind circling around you, and as you gaze beyond into the fields it's like a recital has begun all for an audience of One, but we get to be spectators too. i couldn't help but shout to Kim over the blaring radio and wind ripping through the car, and as she lifted her eyes the tears were replaced with a smile all her own.
We live in a dark world, but there are beacons shining there lights, the Light. Our eyes are drawn to the light (why do you think Vegas is so bright?<--different kind of light, but you get what i'm saying). In the midst of pain and darkness, though, we need to learn to dance and share with others the excitement of what Christ has done, how that affects what we're doing now, and how that will impact the future, for eternity! i'm not saying life is always peachy because it's not, but if you don't look up, you may just miss the dance.
i'm reminded of a song by some talented men named Shane & Shane who sing of the Truth and this is what they have to say:
You have made my day
Even in stormy weather
I’m dancing in all the rain
Cause you make bad days…
Great is the way
When you come to mind
I am smiling ear to ear
Sweet thoughts of you
I’m always in the mood
To twirl around with you
While it’s raining
Even if it’s a dream
Great is the way
That I am unafraid
When I see you
All my fear goes away
Bad days are coming
Rainy days are always around
But if I can see you
One glance upon you
The sun comes out
I’m dancing in all the rain
Cause you make bad days betterDon't forget to look up, and take some time to dance, even in the rain :)
Next time i post, i'll be in NORTHERN IRELAND! WOOT WOOT!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Bittersweet
After a holiday weekend where I got to see family and friends I haven't seen in a while, reality is starting to set in. With the countdown in the single digits, I'm getting nervous, scared, and trying to wrap my head around the reality of it all. Although I've lived in Northern Ireland for three months two separate times, it scares me to think about being away from those who have been my main support for so long.
I think about what God has done throughout my life these past few years since my first trip to Northern Ireland in 2009 and it makes me laugh at myself for thinking I have anything to be nervous about. God has always helped me to be who I needed to be to whom I needed to be at the time and place of where I've been.
But somehow this time is different. Whether it's because of where I am spiritually, where I am in my personal life, or the possible impact this year abroad could make...something's got me on edge. I hope that if you are reading this you know that your prayers mean more than I can express. I know life isn't easy, but choosing to follow where God has led my heart, away from all the comforts of home, is really starting to scare me. I'm not exactly sure where this is all coming from, but please pray that God will give me comfort in knowing that His strength is made perfect in weakness.
I trust that God will use me despite my insecurities. I have seen Him do wonders in the ministry when I honestly thought our efforts would fail. He has shown me time and time again that He's there, right beside me, no matter what road I travel or country I venture to. He's with each of us. He's cries along with us through heartache, laughs with us as we're watching YouTube videos of funny animals, He feels our pain, and rejoices with us in victory. He's always there and His love never fails. Please pray that when times get tough, or I'm missing home, or second-guessing my abilities on the mission field that I remember that He is always near and His love never fails.
Romans 12:12 says, "Rejoice in hope, patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." This was the verse I read one morning of Summer Fused 2009. It changed the course of where I chose my life to go. What will you let lead your path? I pray it's His Word rather than the world. Because the world is full of heartache, but His Word expresses love...uncensored, raw, real. A love like that you just can't pass up. And in a world that tends to scare us, a love that drives out fear is one worth hanging on to.
I think about what God has done throughout my life these past few years since my first trip to Northern Ireland in 2009 and it makes me laugh at myself for thinking I have anything to be nervous about. God has always helped me to be who I needed to be to whom I needed to be at the time and place of where I've been.
But somehow this time is different. Whether it's because of where I am spiritually, where I am in my personal life, or the possible impact this year abroad could make...something's got me on edge. I hope that if you are reading this you know that your prayers mean more than I can express. I know life isn't easy, but choosing to follow where God has led my heart, away from all the comforts of home, is really starting to scare me. I'm not exactly sure where this is all coming from, but please pray that God will give me comfort in knowing that His strength is made perfect in weakness.
I trust that God will use me despite my insecurities. I have seen Him do wonders in the ministry when I honestly thought our efforts would fail. He has shown me time and time again that He's there, right beside me, no matter what road I travel or country I venture to. He's with each of us. He's cries along with us through heartache, laughs with us as we're watching YouTube videos of funny animals, He feels our pain, and rejoices with us in victory. He's always there and His love never fails. Please pray that when times get tough, or I'm missing home, or second-guessing my abilities on the mission field that I remember that He is always near and His love never fails.
Romans 12:12 says, "Rejoice in hope, patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." This was the verse I read one morning of Summer Fused 2009. It changed the course of where I chose my life to go. What will you let lead your path? I pray it's His Word rather than the world. Because the world is full of heartache, but His Word expresses love...uncensored, raw, real. A love like that you just can't pass up. And in a world that tends to scare us, a love that drives out fear is one worth hanging on to.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Shake It Up Cafe
Sorry for the delay in updates. It's been a crazy couple of weeks with VBS, subbing at Top Flight Gymnastics, and saying very tough goodbyes to very dear friends in the Cincinnati area. Though I will miss them all dearly, I know their support can and will (because it has before) stretch across land and ocean, reaching to and comforting my heart within the coming year's adventure on which God is taking me.
These past 2 weeks I traveled to Cincinnati to be the missionary at a Vacation Bible School at a church in the area. The VBS was called Shake It Up Cafe where the children learned the secret ingredients for the recipe God has for our lives. Full of energy and tasty treats, the preschool through fourth graders helped raid their parents' pockets, coin purses, and couch cushions to bring in a total of $210.67 during the penny war we were having to raise money for the work in N. Ireland! My friend, Katy Havran, is the Director of Children's Education and brought together one of the best VBS weeks the church has seen. Her creativity to see a cafe while walking around the hallways and raiding the rooms of the church building brought together a cafe full of life, delicious aromas, and fun-filled events.
I was given 20 minutes with each group (Preschool, Kinders, 1st & 2nd, and 3rd & 4th) to tell stories of N. Ireland, as well as bring experiences and tastes of Ireland to the cafe. During these mission moments the youngsters got to hear about St. Patrick's life story, the legend of Giant's Causeway, color shamrocks and place them in our pretend Tollymore Forest, and taste a bit of blackcurrant squash (the Irish equivalent to our Koolaid). The older ones not only got to hear stories of St. Patrick and Giant's Causeway, but also learned about the ministry The Kairos Centre does, games they play in N. Ireland, and had a bit of taste testing of tea and biscuits from the other side of the pond. The enthusiasm was brought to a climax for me when one of they young leaders (probably 5th or 6th grade) gave me a piece of paper and told me it was for the youth over in N. Ireland. On it he wrote that they should come to the church's VBS next year, and not because they don't have one. Now to clarify, something that I was telling them is that over in N. Ireland, they don't always have someone like Ms. Katy to put together something like Shake It Up Cafe, so teams from different churches in America come and put VBS type activities on for the youth in the area. When I asked the young-ins if they wanted kids like them who live in N. Ireland to get to have VBS and such activities, they started screaming "YEA!" After that, the pennies started rolling in and clanging into the buckets we had set up in the front of the sanctuary for them.
The best part of them raising money was that the group that raised the most were the preschoolers. It reminds me of the passage where Christ is questioned on who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven:
In Christ Alone
These past 2 weeks I traveled to Cincinnati to be the missionary at a Vacation Bible School at a church in the area. The VBS was called Shake It Up Cafe where the children learned the secret ingredients for the recipe God has for our lives. Full of energy and tasty treats, the preschool through fourth graders helped raid their parents' pockets, coin purses, and couch cushions to bring in a total of $210.67 during the penny war we were having to raise money for the work in N. Ireland! My friend, Katy Havran, is the Director of Children's Education and brought together one of the best VBS weeks the church has seen. Her creativity to see a cafe while walking around the hallways and raiding the rooms of the church building brought together a cafe full of life, delicious aromas, and fun-filled events.
I was given 20 minutes with each group (Preschool, Kinders, 1st & 2nd, and 3rd & 4th) to tell stories of N. Ireland, as well as bring experiences and tastes of Ireland to the cafe. During these mission moments the youngsters got to hear about St. Patrick's life story, the legend of Giant's Causeway, color shamrocks and place them in our pretend Tollymore Forest, and taste a bit of blackcurrant squash (the Irish equivalent to our Koolaid). The older ones not only got to hear stories of St. Patrick and Giant's Causeway, but also learned about the ministry The Kairos Centre does, games they play in N. Ireland, and had a bit of taste testing of tea and biscuits from the other side of the pond. The enthusiasm was brought to a climax for me when one of they young leaders (probably 5th or 6th grade) gave me a piece of paper and told me it was for the youth over in N. Ireland. On it he wrote that they should come to the church's VBS next year, and not because they don't have one. Now to clarify, something that I was telling them is that over in N. Ireland, they don't always have someone like Ms. Katy to put together something like Shake It Up Cafe, so teams from different churches in America come and put VBS type activities on for the youth in the area. When I asked the young-ins if they wanted kids like them who live in N. Ireland to get to have VBS and such activities, they started screaming "YEA!" After that, the pennies started rolling in and clanging into the buckets we had set up in the front of the sanctuary for them.
The best part of them raising money was that the group that raised the most were the preschoolers. It reminds me of the passage where Christ is questioned on who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven:
1At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" 2And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them 3and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:1-4 ESV)These preschoolers were the youngest, but they gave earnestly, seeing the importance that all children their age, no matter their location, needed the chance to know Christ. They may not have realized the impact of their actions; for all I know they only raised that much so their leader could pie me in the face, but one thing is for sure, they gave enthusiastically and gave from anywhere and everywhere they possibly could. And because of their enthusiastic offering we are $210.67 closer to the total funds needed to raise. Children have always been an inspiration to me as I have been blessed to work with them throughout the years as a gymnastics instructor, camp team member, and youth sponsor. They continually teach us about selfless living and breaking down barriers we adults tend to put up. I challenge you to allow yourself to be taught by a child today. It may be something small or monumental, it may be realized right away or something that dawns on you hours later, but just as much as you teach and influence children to become who God calls them to be, don't think he won't use the little ones to teach us big lessons. Give a kid a high five today (and if you're lucky, give them a foot five <<--they love those!)
In Christ Alone
Friday, June 3, 2011
Footprints
There's a place on Lake Michigan where I go to "just get away". It has the most beautiful view, especially atop the highest dune, which just happens to have a tree with a perfect sitting branch to overlook the scenery.
Well, on the way up I was looking down because of how bright the sun was and couldn't help but notice the footprints in the sand. There were several different ones. But what I noticed was that even though I had just been there yesterday evening...my footprints were already nowhere to be seen. It may sound silly, but that little moment reminded me of how tiny I am, how insignificant what I do is, yet even with that realization I know that even though the world may not remember what you or I do in this life, we will still stand in front of God one day. Would you want to watch even the "highlights" of your life in His presence? I've gotta be honest, I'm not too keen on the idea, not with The Almighty.
I just happened to read Ecclesiastes the other day and you know it's famous for "vanity of vanities! All is vanity." But what came to mind were the final words after all of its explanation. Verses 13 and 14 of Ecclesiastes 12 says, "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil." (ESV) I know what I do won't change the world, but the footprints I hope I leave are footprints in people's hearts, footprints of Christ, that leave an eternal impression.
If Christ has left an imprint on your heart, shouldn't it be apparent to the world, the people, around you? There are times when I get frustrated with myself because I don't truly feel like what I do matters (which, by my own strength it can't and won't), but I feel like that is satan taking swings at me, getting me to focus on how small I am rather than on how great God is and how, if I'm willing to be a vessel, He can work through my life (even when I screw up).
The view above is taken from my favorite spot in the dunes. God created all this beauty, but He chose to sacrifice His Son so that He could have a relationship with us. Where it just needed to be functional, God made it beautiful. Where judgment is justified, He offers us grace and mercy through Christ. Where we see sinners, He sees sons and daughters. When we're weak, He carries us, leaving footprints in the sand. Do you see His footprints? Do those around you?
I just happened to read Ecclesiastes the other day and you know it's famous for "vanity of vanities! All is vanity." But what came to mind were the final words after all of its explanation. Verses 13 and 14 of Ecclesiastes 12 says, "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil." (ESV) I know what I do won't change the world, but the footprints I hope I leave are footprints in people's hearts, footprints of Christ, that leave an eternal impression.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Looking Back...
Have you ever been spending time in a place from your past and start to realize not only how lucky you are, but after being there for a while realize how much you're going to miss it and the people there? Well, I've been away from home pretty much the last 5 years. Sure I came home for a week or 2 here and a week or 2 there, but for the most part I've been living either in Cincinnati, OH or Northern Ireland the last 5 years. But now that my visa process (on my end) is coming to a close and the reality of its outcome is starting to hit me. Especially these last few days. I've been spending a lot of time with some old friends from high school and church and my family and I'm starting to already miss them. I know that sounds weird, but as much as I'm soaking in all the moments, I'm dreading having to say goodbye soon.
Yesterday seemed to be a lot of old memories replayed and hashed out all in one day. My friends and I stayed the night at my friend's house the night of Memorial Day, then some of us got together at the beach and hung out there during mid-day, went to the dog park with some of their dogs, went to the root beer stand for lunch/dinner, then went our separate ways to get cleaned up. Later on in the night some of us were texting and while 2 of us were hanging out after a walk down the pier to the lighthouse one of our other friends text and said he needed to talk so we all went back down to the pier to walk and talk about life and frustrations and such. It's nights like that I'll always remember, never forget, and I'm starting to realize that friends like mine are hard to come by, and some how I've been blessed with so many, both in Michigan City and Cincinnati. I've never liked saying goodbyes, but I have a feeling these ones will be more difficult than past ones.
Something else I realized is how much I'm going to miss my dad and sister. On Memorial Day my sister was going to go wheel around the neighborhood for a little bit to get a work out in and I told her to let me know when she was going so I could walk with her (I was reading out on the front porch swing). When she came to get me we started talking and I said, "Wouldn't it be funny if I went downstairs and got your old wheelchair out and we went wheeling together?" Of course she responded by encouraging me, which led to me going and getting it...and wheeling around the neighborhood with her hehe Then there's my daddy. I've realized that when you're little you don't notice how there are things your dad does solely with you. It's not something he necessarily shares with your other sibling(s) or his spouse or girlfriend...just you. Now that I'm older the one thing that daddy and I do together that's "our thing" is grocery shopping. But the best part is, even though our grocery shopping usually consists of literally going up and down every aisle, it doesn't always have to be. I hadn't seen my dad all day yesterday because, like I said, I stayed the night at a friend's house and then was out all day until I came home to clean up. But when I got home (and realized how burnt I was) I asked my dad if he needed anything from the store. He said he needed shaving cream but asked if I needed anything and I of course said sunscreen and aloe lol so we went to Walmart. It wasn't a long trip, but it was a time for dad and I to talk and spend time together. I know it might seem petty and maybe silly to you, the reader, but I cherish those moments because it's a special bonding time with my dad. And I know I'm really going to miss having those while I'm gone for a year. Yes, I know they'll happen when I get back, but that doesn't make me miss them, or him, any less.
If you're reading this and you're from the States, know that you have blessed my life. Whether you were in it for a season or continue to be a part of my journey for a lifetime, you have blessed my life. You have helped shape and mold me into what Christ wanted me to be for the mission in Northern Ireland, and I thank you, the reader, for being who God has you be because it has helped me become who I am today. Never underestimate the influence and impact you may have in someone's life. It may not be instantaneous, you may never know it, but along the road a word of encouragement you spoke, a harsh truth you knew a person needed to hear, an embrace when things were tough...they all make their mark. What mark are you going to leave in the lives you touch today? Tomorrow? Are they eternal or for the moment? Who knows...God may use what you see as a moment as an eternal turning point in someone's life. So be choice with your words, abundant with love, and always true to self.
Yesterday seemed to be a lot of old memories replayed and hashed out all in one day. My friends and I stayed the night at my friend's house the night of Memorial Day, then some of us got together at the beach and hung out there during mid-day, went to the dog park with some of their dogs, went to the root beer stand for lunch/dinner, then went our separate ways to get cleaned up. Later on in the night some of us were texting and while 2 of us were hanging out after a walk down the pier to the lighthouse one of our other friends text and said he needed to talk so we all went back down to the pier to walk and talk about life and frustrations and such. It's nights like that I'll always remember, never forget, and I'm starting to realize that friends like mine are hard to come by, and some how I've been blessed with so many, both in Michigan City and Cincinnati. I've never liked saying goodbyes, but I have a feeling these ones will be more difficult than past ones.
Something else I realized is how much I'm going to miss my dad and sister. On Memorial Day my sister was going to go wheel around the neighborhood for a little bit to get a work out in and I told her to let me know when she was going so I could walk with her (I was reading out on the front porch swing). When she came to get me we started talking and I said, "Wouldn't it be funny if I went downstairs and got your old wheelchair out and we went wheeling together?" Of course she responded by encouraging me, which led to me going and getting it...and wheeling around the neighborhood with her hehe Then there's my daddy. I've realized that when you're little you don't notice how there are things your dad does solely with you. It's not something he necessarily shares with your other sibling(s) or his spouse or girlfriend...just you. Now that I'm older the one thing that daddy and I do together that's "our thing" is grocery shopping. But the best part is, even though our grocery shopping usually consists of literally going up and down every aisle, it doesn't always have to be. I hadn't seen my dad all day yesterday because, like I said, I stayed the night at a friend's house and then was out all day until I came home to clean up. But when I got home (and realized how burnt I was) I asked my dad if he needed anything from the store. He said he needed shaving cream but asked if I needed anything and I of course said sunscreen and aloe lol so we went to Walmart. It wasn't a long trip, but it was a time for dad and I to talk and spend time together. I know it might seem petty and maybe silly to you, the reader, but I cherish those moments because it's a special bonding time with my dad. And I know I'm really going to miss having those while I'm gone for a year. Yes, I know they'll happen when I get back, but that doesn't make me miss them, or him, any less.
If you're reading this and you're from the States, know that you have blessed my life. Whether you were in it for a season or continue to be a part of my journey for a lifetime, you have blessed my life. You have helped shape and mold me into what Christ wanted me to be for the mission in Northern Ireland, and I thank you, the reader, for being who God has you be because it has helped me become who I am today. Never underestimate the influence and impact you may have in someone's life. It may not be instantaneous, you may never know it, but along the road a word of encouragement you spoke, a harsh truth you knew a person needed to hear, an embrace when things were tough...they all make their mark. What mark are you going to leave in the lives you touch today? Tomorrow? Are they eternal or for the moment? Who knows...God may use what you see as a moment as an eternal turning point in someone's life. So be choice with your words, abundant with love, and always true to self.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Frustrations...
So i've been home for a month and it seems like a lifetime. Part of that might be because i was use to having three jobs while attending university with one of them being a resident assistant, which kept me basically on call 24/7. This being said, going from that to no job at all while in the States for 3 months kind of makes me want to go crazy. If it were possible for me to attain a job while here for a few months, i would go for it, but seeing that, to raise more funds, i am going to be a missionary at a Vacation Bible School as well as working a gymnastics camp in Cincinnati mid-way through June, it seems unlikely that any company in Michigan City would hire me in light of those details. Of course i've been working on stuff for the ministry in Northern Ireland, but there's only so much i can do while on this side of the pond to prepare for ministry on that side. I wish i could be there, amongst the young people, helping in anyway possible, but in order to be there i've got to be here for a time...all i want is to be there, be doing ministry there. Pray for my sanity :)
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
A Few Things i Love About Northern Ireland, the Culture, & the People...
Well, any of you that have seen facebook since...um...this morning, have seen photos of me dressed in "farmer" or "cowgirl" get up. Best part is, that all was very easy for me to put together cuz I love country line dancing and everything that goes with it (including the outfits!) But let me tell you, last night we had a blast at what they were calling a Barn Dance. We played a ton of Irish games (these must be taught to Americans cuz they're so fun!), did Social Dances which are equivalent to line dancing in America except they're not necessarily dancing to "country" songs, and we danced like crazy and with no real "talent" while non-social dancing songs played :) aka i was a very happy girl! What made it even better was the fact that this social was going on as a fund raiser for the team from a local church that will be going to Spain on a mission trip in the summer. And if that doesn't make it fantastic, the fact that there were drop-in young people at the social made it even better. At first it almost seemed like it was segregated: drop-in with drop-in, churchy with churchy...but as the night went on everyone was hanging out with everyone else. It was, to me, a vision of what the Church looks like, bringing those "on the outside" in to see what this "Jesus thing" is all about. This event was celebrating the Kingdom in numerous ways.
Relationship differences in Northern Ireland vs USA...all i can say is i feel that neither one is better or worse, but what i love is seeing how in the Irish games they play, guys and girls play them together in such an un-petty way where if i were to have guys and girls in America play those games there would be less people participating and it would be much more difficult for guys and girls to "play nice" together.
Hearts for the lost compelled to action...i have been working alongside several people within the churches and even though they are not perfect, they have shown me Christ time and time again. Not only that, they are showing Christ to those in the community through the Kairos Centre in town. It is a community centre that provides emotional, mental and spiritual support to any one they come into contact with. But the Kairos Centre is not only a place where they volunteer, but it bridges the gap between the churches and the community. So much so that the last Saturday i was in town we had at least 7, if not more, young people from the Kairos' drop-in give their lives to Christ.
Honest Desire for Christ...i was fortunate enough to be in Newcastle for Easter. It was an amazing weekend where youth workers and leaders brought Christ's crucifixion and resurrection to life in a way that opened the young people's eyes and hearts to what Christ did for them. On Easter Sunday i was privileged to participate in their sunrise service where several gathered (youth included) at 5:45 am to sing praises to God while on the beach, watching the sunrise. Of course there were Easter services that Sunday morning, but even more so there was a Monday night worship because those within the churches felt they wanted to be able to share in a time of contemporary worship with songs of praise, fellowship over tea and coffee, and Scripture readings. It wasn't so much a time to come together, like on a Sunday morning, and hear a sermon that helps us understand Christ more, but rather a time to simply reflect on that which we already know about Christ and praise Him for who He is, what He's done, and even what we can't grasp about Him and what He will do. Their hearts are continually drawn towards Christ throughout the week and pours into their time with young people coming through the churches doors as well as through the Kairos Centre.
Unity among the churches...during the Monday night praise and worship time it was taking place in the Presbyterian Church, yet those who attend the Baptist Church were among not only those in attendance, but those leading songs as well. Working among the churches of Newcastle i am compelled to reflect on Jesus' prayer in John 17 where He says,
What i'm trying to say with all of this is not that i see them as better than churches in America or better Christians than American Christians, but what i am saying is that they are onto something and it's something i want to be a part of. It's something i have gotten to be a part of. And i am excited to share with you that i am being given the opportunity again to go back and work amongst them on a year long internship where my main focus will be bringing Christ to young women in the area who don't yet know Him. This is an area of ministry that has not been ventured into by a missionary yet before so i am kind of a "test run" or "trial," if you will. As intimidating as it is, i am very excited and eager to get back. Today i received the information i needed from the Kairos Centre in order to begin the application process for my visa. This is an exciting time to share with you all and i thank you for your continued prayer and support. I would not be writing today if it were not for you who are reading these words today. Know that the world is being blessed through your prayer and support, young people are coming to Christ, lives are being changed. Thank you so much and remember if you would like to know more you can always e-mail me!
God Bless! xx
Relationship differences in Northern Ireland vs USA...all i can say is i feel that neither one is better or worse, but what i love is seeing how in the Irish games they play, guys and girls play them together in such an un-petty way where if i were to have guys and girls in America play those games there would be less people participating and it would be much more difficult for guys and girls to "play nice" together.
Hearts for the lost compelled to action...i have been working alongside several people within the churches and even though they are not perfect, they have shown me Christ time and time again. Not only that, they are showing Christ to those in the community through the Kairos Centre in town. It is a community centre that provides emotional, mental and spiritual support to any one they come into contact with. But the Kairos Centre is not only a place where they volunteer, but it bridges the gap between the churches and the community. So much so that the last Saturday i was in town we had at least 7, if not more, young people from the Kairos' drop-in give their lives to Christ.
Honest Desire for Christ...i was fortunate enough to be in Newcastle for Easter. It was an amazing weekend where youth workers and leaders brought Christ's crucifixion and resurrection to life in a way that opened the young people's eyes and hearts to what Christ did for them. On Easter Sunday i was privileged to participate in their sunrise service where several gathered (youth included) at 5:45 am to sing praises to God while on the beach, watching the sunrise. Of course there were Easter services that Sunday morning, but even more so there was a Monday night worship because those within the churches felt they wanted to be able to share in a time of contemporary worship with songs of praise, fellowship over tea and coffee, and Scripture readings. It wasn't so much a time to come together, like on a Sunday morning, and hear a sermon that helps us understand Christ more, but rather a time to simply reflect on that which we already know about Christ and praise Him for who He is, what He's done, and even what we can't grasp about Him and what He will do. Their hearts are continually drawn towards Christ throughout the week and pours into their time with young people coming through the churches doors as well as through the Kairos Centre.
Unity among the churches...during the Monday night praise and worship time it was taking place in the Presbyterian Church, yet those who attend the Baptist Church were among not only those in attendance, but those leading songs as well. Working among the churches of Newcastle i am compelled to reflect on Jesus' prayer in John 17 where He says,
20"I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, 23 I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.Here Christ is praying for us. For our unity as the Church in a broken world. I see that within the churches of Newcastle in a way i don't see it even in my home town. As i was running back from the beach the other night i ran passed First United Methodist Church then a block later passed St. Paul Luther Church...i know the churches in Newcastle don't do everything together because they don't see eye to eye on everything, but at the same time, i see them doing a lot more together to better their community than i do in the States. That is one of the big things that has gripped me as a part of the Church in this world is the unity, even though it's not perfect, that they have in comparison with churches in America. Besides, if everyone came together for church in either of their buildings there would be a mass overflow into the streets :)
What i'm trying to say with all of this is not that i see them as better than churches in America or better Christians than American Christians, but what i am saying is that they are onto something and it's something i want to be a part of. It's something i have gotten to be a part of. And i am excited to share with you that i am being given the opportunity again to go back and work amongst them on a year long internship where my main focus will be bringing Christ to young women in the area who don't yet know Him. This is an area of ministry that has not been ventured into by a missionary yet before so i am kind of a "test run" or "trial," if you will. As intimidating as it is, i am very excited and eager to get back. Today i received the information i needed from the Kairos Centre in order to begin the application process for my visa. This is an exciting time to share with you all and i thank you for your continued prayer and support. I would not be writing today if it were not for you who are reading these words today. Know that the world is being blessed through your prayer and support, young people are coming to Christ, lives are being changed. Thank you so much and remember if you would like to know more you can always e-mail me!
God Bless! xx
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."--Matthew 28:19
As my time here comes to a close I find this question blistered into my mind, etched into my heart: Why me, why here, why now?
I can honestly pin-point specific instances and situations that have made my heart ache to be back here, working with these drop-in girls, and making disciples through Kairos and the churches here in Newcastle.
For the past 2 year Northern Ireland is all I can talk about and when I saw the possibility to come do ministry here I couldn't contain myself. Ironically, if I'm truly honest with myself, I'm very intimidated by the young girls at drop-in, but I also know there is a need in their lives for spiritual guidance as well as older women to go to for advice and simply do life together. I also serve an Almighty God that although I am weak, He is so strong, and it is not by my own strength and abilities, but by the Holy Spirit that lives can and will be transformed, whether I'm here or not.
I know this will not be easy and it will be stretching me until I break, but I truly believe that is when God can truly shine, when we let go of ourselves and realize we are simply broken vessels Christ uses to spread his amazing love. I know I am not perfect, but I serve a perfect God, that's what makes this so exciting! There are times when I think I cannot reach these young girls because it is difficult for me to relate to them, I am unqualified, and I am not worthy. Best part is...THAT'S ALL TRUE! But because Christ can relate to all I can introduce them to Him who they can relate to, because I am unqualified God can truly work wonders through me, and because I realize I am not worthy, God can finally break through within a broken vessel. It is not the able, but the available whom Christ works through. I am willing to be used by God and pray that I don't get in the way of Him moving amongst His creation.
"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."--2 Chronicles 20:12b
There are many things I know I want to see happen in the lives of the young people here, but it's facilitating the happenings of that where things become blurry for me. There is no doubt there is a desire by the women that volunteer for a revival, a wonderful movement within the Kairos for the young women to come to Christ, but it is the means by which to make it possible that seems to trip us up. I know that time is key. It just so happens that Kairos means time of fulfillment. I don't believe this is coincidence, but rather a constant reminder that the time spent in and around the Kairos and its activities has a purpose, a heavenly, divine, eternal purpose. To think that God has invited me to be a part of that is humbling beyond belief.
It is hard to describe exactly how I know this is where I'm meant to be, but what I do know is that if I gave up this opportunity to expand the Kingdom and reach people with the Gospel, I would never be content. I would always be wondering what if? and that, as a follower of Christ, is what I never want to find myself asking when people's eternities are at stake. My desire is not to come to Northern Ireland because it's an "easy out" because of lack of employment back home because I am actually turning down a career opportunity back home, but more because for 2 years my heart has stayed here, never strayed, never wavered, bringing me back time and time again. God is moving here, His Spirit is among us here, and in His presence is where I want to be.
I can honestly pin-point specific instances and situations that have made my heart ache to be back here, working with these drop-in girls, and making disciples through Kairos and the churches here in Newcastle.
For the past 2 year Northern Ireland is all I can talk about and when I saw the possibility to come do ministry here I couldn't contain myself. Ironically, if I'm truly honest with myself, I'm very intimidated by the young girls at drop-in, but I also know there is a need in their lives for spiritual guidance as well as older women to go to for advice and simply do life together. I also serve an Almighty God that although I am weak, He is so strong, and it is not by my own strength and abilities, but by the Holy Spirit that lives can and will be transformed, whether I'm here or not.
I know this will not be easy and it will be stretching me until I break, but I truly believe that is when God can truly shine, when we let go of ourselves and realize we are simply broken vessels Christ uses to spread his amazing love. I know I am not perfect, but I serve a perfect God, that's what makes this so exciting! There are times when I think I cannot reach these young girls because it is difficult for me to relate to them, I am unqualified, and I am not worthy. Best part is...THAT'S ALL TRUE! But because Christ can relate to all I can introduce them to Him who they can relate to, because I am unqualified God can truly work wonders through me, and because I realize I am not worthy, God can finally break through within a broken vessel. It is not the able, but the available whom Christ works through. I am willing to be used by God and pray that I don't get in the way of Him moving amongst His creation.
"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."--2 Chronicles 20:12b
There are many things I know I want to see happen in the lives of the young people here, but it's facilitating the happenings of that where things become blurry for me. There is no doubt there is a desire by the women that volunteer for a revival, a wonderful movement within the Kairos for the young women to come to Christ, but it is the means by which to make it possible that seems to trip us up. I know that time is key. It just so happens that Kairos means time of fulfillment. I don't believe this is coincidence, but rather a constant reminder that the time spent in and around the Kairos and its activities has a purpose, a heavenly, divine, eternal purpose. To think that God has invited me to be a part of that is humbling beyond belief.
It is hard to describe exactly how I know this is where I'm meant to be, but what I do know is that if I gave up this opportunity to expand the Kingdom and reach people with the Gospel, I would never be content. I would always be wondering what if? and that, as a follower of Christ, is what I never want to find myself asking when people's eternities are at stake. My desire is not to come to Northern Ireland because it's an "easy out" because of lack of employment back home because I am actually turning down a career opportunity back home, but more because for 2 years my heart has stayed here, never strayed, never wavered, bringing me back time and time again. God is moving here, His Spirit is among us here, and in His presence is where I want to be.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.- 1 Corinthians 12:14
Sunday night there was a baptismal service at Newcastle Baptist Church. It was a night that truly represented what the Church is here on earth for and how it functions within society. Now this was a unique baptism in Newcastle because of the fact that the two people getting baptized were not Northern Irish, but Polish. What made it even better, there were people from Scotland, N. Ireland, America, Canada, and Poland (if not more that I simply wasn't aware of). It was such a depiction of the body of Christ bringing those dear to us into the body, celebrating through their baptisms.
What made this even better was the fact that English is not their first language, but that is one of the reasons they came to N. Ireland. Their friend, Ewelina (originally from Poland), suggested they come over to N. Ireland. One of them actually gave his testimony to us in English. I don't know about other people, but I have enough jitters talking in front of people in my native tongue, let alone another one that I've learned, where most people you're speaking in front of it is their native tongue. No pressure right? He did such a wonderful job and really made his personality and sense of humor apparent while sharing with us his story.
Such moving parts of the service were 1. as each one of them was baptized and came up out of the water, the congregation sang a verse of Amazing Grace, which was very moving and appropriate to bring the reality of the moment to light and 2. Ewelina closed that time by praying for the event in Polish. It was a time when, although only two other people knew what she was saying, it was apparent the Holy Spirit was present, and of course God knew every word she prayed even before she spoke.
Then, yesterday we had a discipleship course with the team from Southland in Lexington, KY. It was a night of encouragement, worship, teaching, chatting, and tea. Best of all, I had a conversation with a young man about how he has been thinking about the idea of baptism since coming to the baptismal service Sunday night. I am so excited to talk with him about his desire to get baptized, but am making sure he understands the implications of getting baptized and knowing why he wants to get baptized. It is definitely an exciting time in Newcastle, the Holy Spirit is definitely moving amongst us here.
With all the different nationalities present at Sunday evenings baptismal service I couldn't help but think of the follow Scripture. "Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many."-- 1 Corinthians 12:12-14
What made this even better was the fact that English is not their first language, but that is one of the reasons they came to N. Ireland. Their friend, Ewelina (originally from Poland), suggested they come over to N. Ireland. One of them actually gave his testimony to us in English. I don't know about other people, but I have enough jitters talking in front of people in my native tongue, let alone another one that I've learned, where most people you're speaking in front of it is their native tongue. No pressure right? He did such a wonderful job and really made his personality and sense of humor apparent while sharing with us his story.
Such moving parts of the service were 1. as each one of them was baptized and came up out of the water, the congregation sang a verse of Amazing Grace, which was very moving and appropriate to bring the reality of the moment to light and 2. Ewelina closed that time by praying for the event in Polish. It was a time when, although only two other people knew what she was saying, it was apparent the Holy Spirit was present, and of course God knew every word she prayed even before she spoke.
Then, yesterday we had a discipleship course with the team from Southland in Lexington, KY. It was a night of encouragement, worship, teaching, chatting, and tea. Best of all, I had a conversation with a young man about how he has been thinking about the idea of baptism since coming to the baptismal service Sunday night. I am so excited to talk with him about his desire to get baptized, but am making sure he understands the implications of getting baptized and knowing why he wants to get baptized. It is definitely an exciting time in Newcastle, the Holy Spirit is definitely moving amongst us here.
With all the different nationalities present at Sunday evenings baptismal service I couldn't help but think of the follow Scripture. "Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many."-- 1 Corinthians 12:12-14
Saturday, April 2, 2011
No One Ever Said It Would Be Easy
A lot has happened in the past couple weeks. We are soon to start a Bible study for some of the drop-in girls to familiarize them with the Bible and its contents, as well as sharing with them what it means to be a Christian and also living a healthy all-around lifestyle. This, along with a "workout drop-in" are two new events we're working on starting this coming week for the young ladies in the area. Although those interested in learning more about the Bible and how it effects their lives are few in number, we are hoping their eternities will be changed through Christ during our time with them on those nights.
Alongside those nights I am looking to start a Bible study/LifeGroup with the young ladies that volunteer their time week in and week out to building relationships with the young girls that come to drop-in on Tuesday and Thursday nights. These ladies are anywhere from Sophomores or Juniors in high school to teachers in the local schools. I am hoping that this can be a time for those who continually pour themselves out throughout the week to be refilled, refueled, and refocused to why we do what we do with our time (i.e. volunteer at drop-in).
Also, a former youth minister in the area who is recently back in town and I are going to be talking about starting up a Bible study for the Juniors and Seniors that go to church in the area to prepare them as they head out into the big world of university in the coming years. Now, over here 11th and 12th graders are called lower 6th and upper 6th, and when talking of these 2 grades you'd say 6th formers...however, it is not pronounced siXth over here, but rather siCKth. The reasoning I was told by the daughter of my host family (who is in upper 6th) is that siXth takes too much effort to pronounce. lol
Despite the excitement, nerves, and anticipation of these ministries beginning, I can't help but be a little frustrated. You see, on Saturday nights there is an event at the Kairos called Fused. Fused is our equivalent of youth group. However, because it is held at the Kairos, rather than at one of the churches (neutral "territory" for all denominations to come together) the young people from drop-in will sometimes come in and make a disturbance, thinking it's their place, if the doors are open, it's open to them. Although I want more than anything for them to hear the story of Jesus and for them to have a relationship with Him, it has become hard for some of the young people who are curious about Christ to fully benefit from programs like Fused because what use to be a place where they were respected and loved, a safe haven from ridicule and shame, has become another drop-in night where young people get up in their faces and yell, "Why are you an f-ing Christian?!?!?!" It was not until tonight that I truly understood the hardships and pain that come from such actions. I, at 23, being a Christian for 14 years, who has gone to conferences throughout my school years, has a Bible degree, and surrounded by fellow Christ followers, felt the pain from scorn, mockery, glances, and odd comments tonight. Being mocked and made fun of by several of the young people I am choosing to leave everything I know so that I can minister to them laughed straight in my face, made fun of the fact that my hands were in the air and I was singing the songs (that everyone else was singing behind them if they would've just looked)...I was in a room full not only of Christians, but fellow AMERICAN Christians, yet I still felt so alone, crushed, with those young people mocking me and tearing me down. Yet just last week I told one of the young ladies who recently gave her life to Christ to just blow them off, not let them get under her skin, to know that we love her and it doesn't matter what they say, she belongs, even though it won't be easy all the time. I didn't really have words to give her because I had never harshly encountered it myself. Tonight, however, my eyes and heart were open to a glimpse of the pain that must be in her heart. She doesn't have a Christian home to fall back on or family and friends close to her she can confide in. I can't wait to talk with her, pray with her, cry with her over the pain it causes. I know living a life for Christ is THE way, but that doesn't make me bulletproof. I'll stand strong in the battle, but wounds still need to be tended to. And because of my experience in battle (as sheepish as it may sound), I pray they will help this new believer's battle wounds become battle scars that tell a remarkable story of a fierce warrior. In times of war we need not stand on the sidelines, but join the troops in battle. I was sitting on the sidelines...that time is over. Where are you in the war? Are you healing wounds? Are you in the line of fire? Are you sitting on the sidelines? Are you on the front lines? Are you recently back from the war, telling of your battle scars? We are all in the war, though our places may be different. We are all warriors, are you armored?
Alongside those nights I am looking to start a Bible study/LifeGroup with the young ladies that volunteer their time week in and week out to building relationships with the young girls that come to drop-in on Tuesday and Thursday nights. These ladies are anywhere from Sophomores or Juniors in high school to teachers in the local schools. I am hoping that this can be a time for those who continually pour themselves out throughout the week to be refilled, refueled, and refocused to why we do what we do with our time (i.e. volunteer at drop-in).
Also, a former youth minister in the area who is recently back in town and I are going to be talking about starting up a Bible study for the Juniors and Seniors that go to church in the area to prepare them as they head out into the big world of university in the coming years. Now, over here 11th and 12th graders are called lower 6th and upper 6th, and when talking of these 2 grades you'd say 6th formers...however, it is not pronounced siXth over here, but rather siCKth. The reasoning I was told by the daughter of my host family (who is in upper 6th) is that siXth takes too much effort to pronounce. lol
Despite the excitement, nerves, and anticipation of these ministries beginning, I can't help but be a little frustrated. You see, on Saturday nights there is an event at the Kairos called Fused. Fused is our equivalent of youth group. However, because it is held at the Kairos, rather than at one of the churches (neutral "territory" for all denominations to come together) the young people from drop-in will sometimes come in and make a disturbance, thinking it's their place, if the doors are open, it's open to them. Although I want more than anything for them to hear the story of Jesus and for them to have a relationship with Him, it has become hard for some of the young people who are curious about Christ to fully benefit from programs like Fused because what use to be a place where they were respected and loved, a safe haven from ridicule and shame, has become another drop-in night where young people get up in their faces and yell, "Why are you an f-ing Christian?!?!?!" It was not until tonight that I truly understood the hardships and pain that come from such actions. I, at 23, being a Christian for 14 years, who has gone to conferences throughout my school years, has a Bible degree, and surrounded by fellow Christ followers, felt the pain from scorn, mockery, glances, and odd comments tonight. Being mocked and made fun of by several of the young people I am choosing to leave everything I know so that I can minister to them laughed straight in my face, made fun of the fact that my hands were in the air and I was singing the songs (that everyone else was singing behind them if they would've just looked)...I was in a room full not only of Christians, but fellow AMERICAN Christians, yet I still felt so alone, crushed, with those young people mocking me and tearing me down. Yet just last week I told one of the young ladies who recently gave her life to Christ to just blow them off, not let them get under her skin, to know that we love her and it doesn't matter what they say, she belongs, even though it won't be easy all the time. I didn't really have words to give her because I had never harshly encountered it myself. Tonight, however, my eyes and heart were open to a glimpse of the pain that must be in her heart. She doesn't have a Christian home to fall back on or family and friends close to her she can confide in. I can't wait to talk with her, pray with her, cry with her over the pain it causes. I know living a life for Christ is THE way, but that doesn't make me bulletproof. I'll stand strong in the battle, but wounds still need to be tended to. And because of my experience in battle (as sheepish as it may sound), I pray they will help this new believer's battle wounds become battle scars that tell a remarkable story of a fierce warrior. In times of war we need not stand on the sidelines, but join the troops in battle. I was sitting on the sidelines...that time is over. Where are you in the war? Are you healing wounds? Are you in the line of fire? Are you sitting on the sidelines? Are you on the front lines? Are you recently back from the war, telling of your battle scars? We are all in the war, though our places may be different. We are all warriors, are you armored?
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Actions speak louder than words, but...
Alrighty, so I know I haven't posted in a while. BAD ME! But to be honest, it's either been really busy crazy or being able to simply relax from the crazy busy so I haven't gotten around to posting lately. First, let me say thank you for your prayers during the difficult time the community recently had with the loss of a young man in town. It was a time when it was evident of the Church's light in this town and to the people effected by the tragedy. Young and old both came together and came alongside the hurting, the mourning, and the persecuted during this time of dire need for the young people of Newcastle. Whether it be a shoulder to cry on, sitting in silence, or playing games to get minds off of the events of that dreadful night, the Church located in Newcastle was being the Church to their community and it was all by the strength, wisdom, and guidance of the Holy Spirit. Thank you for lifting Newcastle up in your prayers for they were truly answered in tremendous ways by opening opportunities to speak into the young people's lives not just to have an impact on changing lifestyles, but eternal destinations as well. Christ is risen and reigning and is real and active in lives of Newcastle.
Now on to the exciting conversation I had tonight with a young person during drop-in at the Kairos Centre (drop-in is basically where young people come from off the streets and spend time playing pool, ping-pong, Wii, XBox, doing crafts, drinking tea and chatting, etc.--aka a place where relationships are formed over time in a more positive environment compared to where those they would normally be getting drunk and smoking pot<--not all, but many would join in similar activities if not for Kairos).
Well, tonight I was talking with a young man who recently has become much more interested in the Christian faith and what it means and looks like to follow Christ. He was telling me how he was trying to read a Bible he had that was the King James Version, but it was just too difficult to understand with its old way of phrasing everything. Then some of the young people who have already come to faith bought him a Bible and gave it to him not too long ago. He was very excited, told me how he even has a Bible on his phone now that he reads during school, even though kids give him stick (a hard time) about it and he actually defended the Word and stood up to his peers, which got one of them interested in what it was all about and is now searching a bit into the Bible and the Christian faith now as well. SO EXCITING! Then I began asking him where he's been reading in the Bible and if he's enjoying it and he told me he started in Matthew, which I found very fitting since his name is Matthew :) And he started asking me where I started and how I went about reading the Bible because he really wants to read through the entire Bible, but sometimes he gets bored or frustrated and then other times gets really excited and reads a lot of it, but wanted to know a more strategic way to go about it. This brought us into a conversation about being honest in how I am actually just working through reading the entire Bible through for the first time through this year and how it truly is difficult, especially during certain books that are so filled to the brim with names and dates, ages and places, that it is hard to keep everything straight. I explained to him that a friend once told me not to expect too much of myself in the beginning because I will only get burnt out so, instead, take baby steps and start small, and not to be myself up if I miss a day, but stay as positive as possible. It was great to be open and real about our struggles (new believer to one who has been around for a few years) with how reading the Bible, no matter how much we WANT to read through it, is still very difficult. It was such an encouragement!!
What makes it even better is that he began talking with me about the Catholic priests who have been convicted as pedophiles and how that frustrates him, not because they have been convicted, but about the fact that that spreads throughout the news, but places like the Kairos Centre, where Christians are doing positive, impactful ministry in the community are not being recognized and the hard work, love, and dedication we volunteers are putting in being broadcast. He was frustrated because he wanted Christ's name to be seen in a positive light through places like the Kairos Centre rather than through a few Catholic priests who have misrepresented Christ in the news and their communities. Unless you have been in the type of ministry and situation that I find myself, the impact, encouragement, and drive those words gave me, coming honest and true from his heart, I can't even describe. Between that and my week trip to England, I could not be more encouraged and energized to spread the Gospel through word and deed through Kairos and all throughout Newcastle. It is amazing how affirming conversations can have such an impact on your outlook on ministry and the work you are doing so far from home.
While I was visiting Sandy I was able to go with him to his placement where he does youth ministry and drop-in type youth work. It gave me a fresh eye on ways to facilitate drop-ins as well as starting conversations and such. It gave me a new confidence when coming back tonight to the Kairos Centre. I was less timid to begin conversations with young ladies with whome I normally was unable to begin conversations. I have been praying since before I even arrived that the Holy Spirit help me in ministry to young women because I honestly struggle with it, but feel lead by God to help advance the ministry to them. The Holy Spirit has shown me, through helping at Sandy's placement, ways in which to engage the young women I encounter during drop-ins at Kairos. The Holy Spirit is working in and through me and I cannot take any credit for this new found confidence and ability, but it is truly only by the Holy Spirit that this has occurred. Tonight I think I had at least a wee conversation with almost every young women that came through the doors tonight, whether it be a deep conversation or simply asking their name and letting them know we're glad they came tonight. It's incredible the work the Holy Spirit does when you simply give in to your weakness and truly let the Holy Spirit's strength take over.
Don't take for granted the little things, whether in word or deed, Christ speaks through all modes of communication and can use all, old or young, long time followers or newborn Christians to impact the world for His Kingdom. satan has nothing on our King, we've already won the victory, lets fight like it for this world and His creation.
"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline."--2 Timothy 1:7
Now on to the exciting conversation I had tonight with a young person during drop-in at the Kairos Centre (drop-in is basically where young people come from off the streets and spend time playing pool, ping-pong, Wii, XBox, doing crafts, drinking tea and chatting, etc.--aka a place where relationships are formed over time in a more positive environment compared to where those they would normally be getting drunk and smoking pot<--not all, but many would join in similar activities if not for Kairos).
Well, tonight I was talking with a young man who recently has become much more interested in the Christian faith and what it means and looks like to follow Christ. He was telling me how he was trying to read a Bible he had that was the King James Version, but it was just too difficult to understand with its old way of phrasing everything. Then some of the young people who have already come to faith bought him a Bible and gave it to him not too long ago. He was very excited, told me how he even has a Bible on his phone now that he reads during school, even though kids give him stick (a hard time) about it and he actually defended the Word and stood up to his peers, which got one of them interested in what it was all about and is now searching a bit into the Bible and the Christian faith now as well. SO EXCITING! Then I began asking him where he's been reading in the Bible and if he's enjoying it and he told me he started in Matthew, which I found very fitting since his name is Matthew :) And he started asking me where I started and how I went about reading the Bible because he really wants to read through the entire Bible, but sometimes he gets bored or frustrated and then other times gets really excited and reads a lot of it, but wanted to know a more strategic way to go about it. This brought us into a conversation about being honest in how I am actually just working through reading the entire Bible through for the first time through this year and how it truly is difficult, especially during certain books that are so filled to the brim with names and dates, ages and places, that it is hard to keep everything straight. I explained to him that a friend once told me not to expect too much of myself in the beginning because I will only get burnt out so, instead, take baby steps and start small, and not to be myself up if I miss a day, but stay as positive as possible. It was great to be open and real about our struggles (new believer to one who has been around for a few years) with how reading the Bible, no matter how much we WANT to read through it, is still very difficult. It was such an encouragement!!
What makes it even better is that he began talking with me about the Catholic priests who have been convicted as pedophiles and how that frustrates him, not because they have been convicted, but about the fact that that spreads throughout the news, but places like the Kairos Centre, where Christians are doing positive, impactful ministry in the community are not being recognized and the hard work, love, and dedication we volunteers are putting in being broadcast. He was frustrated because he wanted Christ's name to be seen in a positive light through places like the Kairos Centre rather than through a few Catholic priests who have misrepresented Christ in the news and their communities. Unless you have been in the type of ministry and situation that I find myself, the impact, encouragement, and drive those words gave me, coming honest and true from his heart, I can't even describe. Between that and my week trip to England, I could not be more encouraged and energized to spread the Gospel through word and deed through Kairos and all throughout Newcastle. It is amazing how affirming conversations can have such an impact on your outlook on ministry and the work you are doing so far from home.
While I was visiting Sandy I was able to go with him to his placement where he does youth ministry and drop-in type youth work. It gave me a fresh eye on ways to facilitate drop-ins as well as starting conversations and such. It gave me a new confidence when coming back tonight to the Kairos Centre. I was less timid to begin conversations with young ladies with whome I normally was unable to begin conversations. I have been praying since before I even arrived that the Holy Spirit help me in ministry to young women because I honestly struggle with it, but feel lead by God to help advance the ministry to them. The Holy Spirit has shown me, through helping at Sandy's placement, ways in which to engage the young women I encounter during drop-ins at Kairos. The Holy Spirit is working in and through me and I cannot take any credit for this new found confidence and ability, but it is truly only by the Holy Spirit that this has occurred. Tonight I think I had at least a wee conversation with almost every young women that came through the doors tonight, whether it be a deep conversation or simply asking their name and letting them know we're glad they came tonight. It's incredible the work the Holy Spirit does when you simply give in to your weakness and truly let the Holy Spirit's strength take over.
Don't take for granted the little things, whether in word or deed, Christ speaks through all modes of communication and can use all, old or young, long time followers or newborn Christians to impact the world for His Kingdom. satan has nothing on our King, we've already won the victory, lets fight like it for this world and His creation.
"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline."--2 Timothy 1:7
Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Lord is close to the broken hearted, and saves those crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
You never think it'll happen in your town...
A little over a week ago my heart broke for my home away from home, Cincinnati, when I read on several status updates about the death of a young man in the area who many of my friends knew through their ministry at BLOC. I could not imagine what they and their community were going through at the time. Unfortunately, the city of Newcastle is in the midst of its own nightmare with a deathly stabbing occurring this past Friday night in a local park. When we heard the news this morning we knew this was something we would come in contact with because Newcastle is a small town and news travels fast. If you don't know someone personally, you most likely know their neighbor or somebody who knows or knew them.
From what I can undestand, the late Paul Owens was a 19-year old who had shown up around the Kairos Centre during Drop-in every now and again before I was around. Although I did not know him personally, those he left behind will and already have walked through the doors of Kairos. This is a time when his family and friends are searching for answers, but I can't seem to come up with anything but silence in times such as these.
Please be praying for the victims family, friends, and that we have the right words to say in the right moments and know when silence is the best response. Several young men we work with talked with him earlier the night of his death and were there shortly after it happened. Also, one of the young men that comes to the Drop-in, he may be 12-14 years of age, tried to save Paul Owens by putting his hands over the wound. I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like for him. This is not something you want to encounter, but if we can at all be help to those in need during this time, we pray we not be timid but be bold for Christ be being what they need in a time when the world seems to be turned upside down.
Right now the only thing I can think to do is pray, but several girls I talked to tonight know that they can get a hold of me at anytime, day or night, but I feel I should be doing so much more than just making myself available, although I know that being available can mean so much to people, it still doesn't seem like enough.
Tonight we were singing songs of God's love and how it is amazing, steady and unchanging, but I found it so hard to get the words out. I didn't feel like singing, I felt like crying out to this loving God asking why? It's so hard to take in that we don't have to understand it, but it has happened and we do have to deal with it. So difficult. All I could think of was Ecclesiastes 3
A little over a week ago my heart broke for my home away from home, Cincinnati, when I read on several status updates about the death of a young man in the area who many of my friends knew through their ministry at BLOC. I could not imagine what they and their community were going through at the time. Unfortunately, the city of Newcastle is in the midst of its own nightmare with a deathly stabbing occurring this past Friday night in a local park. When we heard the news this morning we knew this was something we would come in contact with because Newcastle is a small town and news travels fast. If you don't know someone personally, you most likely know their neighbor or somebody who knows or knew them.
From what I can undestand, the late Paul Owens was a 19-year old who had shown up around the Kairos Centre during Drop-in every now and again before I was around. Although I did not know him personally, those he left behind will and already have walked through the doors of Kairos. This is a time when his family and friends are searching for answers, but I can't seem to come up with anything but silence in times such as these.
Please be praying for the victims family, friends, and that we have the right words to say in the right moments and know when silence is the best response. Several young men we work with talked with him earlier the night of his death and were there shortly after it happened. Also, one of the young men that comes to the Drop-in, he may be 12-14 years of age, tried to save Paul Owens by putting his hands over the wound. I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like for him. This is not something you want to encounter, but if we can at all be help to those in need during this time, we pray we not be timid but be bold for Christ be being what they need in a time when the world seems to be turned upside down.
Right now the only thing I can think to do is pray, but several girls I talked to tonight know that they can get a hold of me at anytime, day or night, but I feel I should be doing so much more than just making myself available, although I know that being available can mean so much to people, it still doesn't seem like enough.
Tonight we were singing songs of God's love and how it is amazing, steady and unchanging, but I found it so hard to get the words out. I didn't feel like singing, I felt like crying out to this loving God asking why? It's so hard to take in that we don't have to understand it, but it has happened and we do have to deal with it. So difficult. All I could think of was Ecclesiastes 3
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven--I don't know what to say in a time of grief and disbelief, but I know God is present and His Spirit brings peace, please pray it is evident in and through His Church here in Newcastle during this tragic time.
A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
A mother's words
Many of you following this blog know my past, others, however, may not. In light of that, I will tell you the short version. When I was 16 my mum died of ovarian cancer. She was and always will be one of the biggest supporters of my pursuit to serve in youth ministry. Had she been alive when I was deciding to move overseas to do missionary work, there is not a doubt in my mind that she would be behind me 100% just like my dad and the rest of my family, though they would love to have me closer in proximity to them all. She died on Tuesday, 30 March, 2004 right before Spring Break of my Sophomore year of high school. The 30th of any month is quite difficult, and you would think that since February never has a 30th day it would be that one month of relief. However, my mum was born on 23 February so that takes the place of a difficult 30th for the month of February. It might sound strange to someone who has never lost someone near and dear to them, but my mother was very much my Paul, if you will, guiding me in the way a godly woman (young or old) would conduct herself by serving, leading, listening, and demonstrating the characteristics of Christ. So losing her has very much effected me and dates become very vivid and meaningful, mournful at times. While being in Northern Ireland I have been having a difficult time with the task assigned me: to expand the ministry to young women in Newcastle. This does not only mean discipling those young women within the churches, but to develop outreach to young women in the area as well who do not attend churches. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a girly girl by any means so to interact with and develop relationships with the young women in a European culture is quite difficult for such a tomboy. Though the task difficult, I continue to pursue, not really having a clue how to go about everything, but aspiring to do my best despite the mistakes I have and will make during ministry here.
Ok, now on to what I put this post up for in the first place. While here I have started to read some classics and am reading Little Women. While reading it the mother had a little monologue that I feel would be just what my mother would say if I were to discuss life decisions and circumstances with her in this very moment in time:
Please pray that ministry to young women in Newcastle will develop in such a way that the city, country, and world may be changed for the better because Christ is moving among us, shaping who we are becoming, effecting how we view those around us, developing a passion for compassion for a world crying out for a Saviour, whether realised or not.
Ok, now on to what I put this post up for in the first place. While here I have started to read some classics and am reading Little Women. While reading it the mother had a little monologue that I feel would be just what my mother would say if I were to discuss life decisions and circumstances with her in this very moment in time:
I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good; to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send. To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and i sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. It is natrual to think of it . . . right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it, so that when the happy tme comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy. My dear girls, I am ambitious for you, but not to have you make a dash in the world--marry rich men merely because they are rich, or have splendid houses, which are not homes because love is wanting. Money is a needful and precious thing--and, when well used, a noble thing--but I never want you to think it is the first or only prize to strive for. I'd rather see you poor men's wives, if you were happy, beloved, contented, than queens on thrones, without self-respect and peace.This, I will hold on to in the times when I doubt what I'm doing, where I'm going, and where my life is headed because many times it is scary, especially as a young woman in an area of ministry dominated by men. Though I have to say our God is a God who provides, and has continued to place women in my path (many being my friends' mums and my mums girlfriends) from the time my mum went to be with the Lord until this very day (as Mrs. Hodnett passes along a book to me that she believes I will enjoy).
Please pray that ministry to young women in Newcastle will develop in such a way that the city, country, and world may be changed for the better because Christ is moving among us, shaping who we are becoming, effecting how we view those around us, developing a passion for compassion for a world crying out for a Saviour, whether realised or not.
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