Looking Back...

Have you ever been spending time in a place from your past and start to realize not only how lucky you are, but after being there for a while realize how much you're going to miss it and the people there?  Well, I've been away from home pretty much the last 5 years.  Sure I came home for a week or 2 here and a week or 2 there, but for the most part I've been living either in Cincinnati, OH or Northern Ireland the last 5 years.  But now that my visa process (on my end) is coming to a close and the reality of its outcome is starting to hit me.  Especially these last few days.  I've been spending a lot of time with some old friends from high school and church and my family and I'm starting to already miss them.  I know that sounds weird, but as much as I'm soaking in all the moments, I'm dreading having to say goodbye soon.

Yesterday seemed to be a lot of old memories replayed and hashed out all in one day.  My friends and I stayed the night at my friend's house the night of Memorial Day, then some of us got together at the beach and hung out there during mid-day, went to the dog park with some of their dogs, went to the root beer stand for lunch/dinner, then went our separate ways to get cleaned up.  Later on in the night some of us were texting and while 2 of us were hanging out after a walk down the pier to the lighthouse one of our other friends text and said he needed to talk so we all went back down to the pier to walk and talk about life and frustrations and such.  It's nights like that I'll always remember, never forget, and I'm starting to realize that friends like mine are hard to come by, and some how I've been blessed with so many, both in Michigan City and Cincinnati.  I've never liked saying goodbyes, but I have a feeling these ones will be more difficult than past ones.

Something else I realized is how much I'm going to miss my dad and sister.  On Memorial Day my sister was going to go wheel around the neighborhood for a little bit to get a work out in and I told her to let me know when she was going so I could walk with her (I was reading out on the front porch swing).  When she came to get me we started talking and I said, "Wouldn't it be funny if I went downstairs and got your old wheelchair out and we went wheeling together?"  Of course she responded by encouraging me, which led to me going and getting it...and wheeling around the neighborhood with her hehe  Then there's my daddy.  I've realized that when you're little you don't notice how there are things your dad does solely with you.  It's not something he necessarily shares with your other sibling(s) or his spouse or girlfriend...just you.  Now that I'm older the one thing that daddy and I do together that's "our thing" is grocery shopping.  But the best part is, even though our grocery shopping usually consists of literally going up and down every aisle, it doesn't always have to be.  I hadn't seen my dad all day yesterday because, like I said, I stayed the night at a friend's house and then was out all day until I came home to clean up.  But when I got home (and realized how burnt I was) I asked my dad if he needed anything from the store.  He said he needed shaving cream but asked if I needed anything and I of course said sunscreen and aloe lol so we went to Walmart.  It wasn't a long trip, but it was a time for dad and I to talk and spend time together.  I know it might seem petty and maybe silly to you, the reader, but I cherish those moments because it's a special bonding time with my dad.  And I know I'm really going to miss having those while I'm gone for a year.  Yes, I know they'll happen when I get back, but that doesn't make me miss them, or him, any less.

If you're reading this and you're from the States, know that you have blessed my life.  Whether you were in it for a season or continue to be a part of my journey for a lifetime, you have blessed my life.  You have helped shape and mold me into what Christ wanted me to be for the mission in Northern Ireland, and I thank you, the reader, for being who God has you be because it has helped me become who I am today.  Never underestimate the influence and impact you may have in someone's life.  It may not be instantaneous, you may never know it, but along the road a word of encouragement you spoke, a harsh truth you knew a person needed to hear, an embrace when things were tough...they all make their mark.  What mark are you going to leave in the lives you touch today? Tomorrow?  Are they eternal or for the moment?  Who knows...God may use what you see as a moment as an eternal turning point in someone's life.  So be choice with your words, abundant with love, and always true to self.