Bittersweet

After a holiday weekend where I got to see family and friends I haven't seen in a while, reality is starting to set in.  With the countdown in the single digits, I'm getting nervous, scared, and trying to wrap my head around the reality of it all.  Although I've lived in Northern Ireland for three months two separate times, it scares me to think about being away from those who have been my main support for so long.

I think about what God has done throughout my life these past few years since my first trip to Northern Ireland in 2009 and it makes me laugh at myself for thinking I have anything to be nervous about.  God has always helped me to be who I needed to be to whom I needed to be at the time and place of where I've been. 

But somehow this time is different.  Whether it's because of where I am spiritually, where I am in my personal life, or the possible impact this year abroad could make...something's got me on edge.  I hope that if you are reading this you know that your prayers mean more than I can express.  I know life isn't easy, but choosing to follow where God has led my heart, away from all the comforts of home, is really starting to scare me.  I'm not exactly sure where this is all coming from, but please pray that God will give me comfort in knowing that His strength is made perfect in weakness.

I trust that God will use me despite my insecurities.  I have seen Him do wonders in the ministry when I honestly thought our efforts would fail.  He has shown me time and time again that He's there, right beside me, no matter what road I travel or country I venture to.  He's with each of us.  He's cries along with us through heartache, laughs with us as we're watching YouTube videos of funny animals, He feels our pain, and rejoices with us in victory.  He's always there and His love never fails.  Please pray that when times get tough, or I'm missing home, or second-guessing my abilities on the mission field that I remember that He is always near and His love never fails.

Romans 12:12 says, "Rejoice in hope, patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."  This was the verse I read one morning of Summer Fused 2009.  It changed the course of where I chose my life to go.  What will you let lead your path?  I pray it's His Word rather than the world.  Because the world is full of heartache, but His Word expresses love...uncensored, raw, real.  A love like that you just can't pass up.  And in a world that tends to scare us, a love that drives out fear is one worth hanging on to.